Why Don't We Ask Questions?

Why Don't We Ask Questions?

They're worth the answers.
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The questions we ask can be extremely revelatory. They can demonstrate what information we find valuable, how well we pay attention, and what we don’t know. Maybe this is all why we’re so terrified to ask them. We’re afraid of the answer, the person we’re asking, of being asked, etc. It’s come to my attention lately that finding the courage to ask a question can be a lot harder than hearing the answer. To quote something I heard somewhere that I can’t remember but think is relevant, “partly one’s lazy, partly one’s shy,” and those are the biggest obstacles.

For all of my academic career, I’ve been told to meet with my teachers, go to office hours because “the professors are so accessible and are really there for their students.” While most have an open door policy when it comes to office hours, it’s usually easier to make an appointment to guarantee time. This has always been the hardest question for me to ask because it’s asking for help. I don’t want to need help. Everyone else seems to figure it out on their own, what’s my excuse? Unfortunately, this is what happens when I don’t ask for help when I struggle academically: I stress about asking to meet with my professor, I don’t ask, I stress about the paper or exam so then I procrastinate it while still being stressed, and then I receive a bad grade because I was both under-prepared and under-rested.

Have you ever noticed that, more often than not, when people raise their hand in class it’s to answer a question or raise a discussion point. Nobody really seems to ask questions anymore. You know they have questions because they message you the night before class asking them. No one asks enough questions in class and they should. For one thing, it takes up class time . Another thing, the professors appreciate someone paying attention to the material enough to have a question about it or to struggle with part of it. The most important reason for asking questions in class, how else are you going to get the answers?

Questions are symbols of human interest. They create connections to other people and the world around us, “how is your sister doing?”, “do you have any pets?”, “why are you majoring in neuroscience?”, “what is the song that’s playing?” Sometimes we ask these, sometimes we don’t. Maybe we don’t care enough or we have other stuff on our mind. I think they’re worth asking if you think of them. The first reason, the answers matter to someone. The second reason, because they occurred to you. The third, because they show you’re not just trapped in your own head worrying about whatever.

Sometimes people won’t ask for help. Sometimes you need to ask if they need it. Ask twice. Asking for help isn’t easy. Asking if someone needs it isn’t either. You don’t want to seem presumptuous or nosy. You don’t want to look like one of those people that gets off on being the one holding the crying person because we all hate that person. Asking that question could have a huge impact on someone else’s life. If someone is crying by themselves, if someone looks stressed or exhausted, ask the question. It’s the right thing to do and it may be the only thing you need to do.

Some people are naturally curious. Some people ask these questions all the time without thinking. I’m not saying you need to walk around like your least favorite five-year-old, “why is the ocean blue"? “Because the sky is blue”. “Why is the sky blue”?

*facepalm*

Questions are worth asking because of their fundamental existence. Ask them. Learn something. Help someone. Help yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Painchaudopinion

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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If You Fill Every Minute Of Your Schedule With Work, You'll Feel Discouraged, Not Accomplished

Our feelings have more power than we think.

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When we start doing work, we set out with the point of trying to get it done. I personally set time brackets in which I do a certain amount of work. In this, I assume how much time something will take me and work as efficiently as I can to finish in the allotted time bracket.

However, once in a while, the work takes me much longer than anticipated and I become frustrated. I cannot get the questions right or there is just too much work to make sense of. All I want to do is give up and eat ice cream and even if I do this, I feel anxious about the fact that my work is not done. I feel stressed and that doing any type of work is of no use because I can't do it anyway. How can I get out of this funk? Sometimes I think I never will. Or is it that I don't want to?

All of us have had a moment of hopelessness about school, friends, or just life in general. I think that the best way to get out of it is to step back from the environment. When I am stuck on an Aleks problem (chemistry online homework) and want to scream at the computer, I just leave my desk and go for a walk. Trying to clear your mind of all the frustration and stress that is building up is necessary to see things from a fresh point of view.

We often are blinded by the frustration we feel and that disables our ability to take a breath and just work calmly. Feeling the overwhelming emotions makes us lose track of all the good things we have and if we allow it to, it will consume us for much longer than we imagined. Take breaks with your work and leave time for yourself. If you fill every minute of your schedule with work, of course, you will feel discouraged. You will be burned out. Every time you notice yourself becoming angry, do something to calm yourself down. Our anger has the power to destroy us, but only if we let it.

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