Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape. (Source: DOJ)

For months now, we have been watching the news and seeing high profiled men being accused of sexual assault and/or rape. The first question that comes out of most people is “why didn’t the women come forward before?”. This question has been asked by a lot of people in my life. Honestly, I am getting sick and tired of this question! Why is this the first question people ask? Why do they not point fingers at the accused rapist or sexual assaulter? Why is it that the victim is the one who is shamed, questioned and belittled?

Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Roy Moore, Louis C.K., Al Franken, Jon Conyers Jr., Charlie Rose, Mario Batali, even our so-called president, Donald Trump. These are couple of men who have been outed and the one thing that they have in common is: power. All of these men have acquired the fame and power through their own respective fields but the respect they had earned over the years went down the drain. In my opinion, the power got to their head and thought they could do anything with anyone at any time. Once, the media reported about the men, everyone automatically chose their sides. The ones who stood with the accused, started berating the accusers because they thought they were in for the money and little fame. No one really thought for a second that the people coming forward with their story can be true. The patriarchal society we live in tend to makes us question the victim and come down on them harshly instead of going after the accused.

To answer the question “why did they not speak out before?”, one reason is that the fear of retaliation. They could speak out right after the incident but who will believe them? The women who are coming out and sharing their stories feel they have the platform now and the time is right. They feel they have the backing they need, so they do not get cornered in. The incident or experience makes the victims ashamed of themselves. They feel guilty because they think they probably did something but in reality they were doing their daily routine and did nothing wrong. Some members of our society think that the victims lead the rapist or assaulter on, wore revealing clothes, or had too much to drink. This is why many victims do not share what happened to them because no one will trust them and make them out to be the aggressor.

When will the time come when the victims are taken seriously and the accused are the ones who are thoroughly investigated? When will the time come when the accused are the ones who are asked all the incriminating and disgusting questions that the victims are asked?