It’s on every teenager’s mind. It’s plastered over every magazine cover and billboard. It’s something everyone seems to want.

Dating.

We live in a society where being in a relationship is the main key to happiness. While romantic relationships are a great thing, there’s a lot of stigma with not being in one.

Some people have had three relationships in one year, three relationships in the four years of high school, some who stick to one relationship through all four years, and some who weren’t in one at all. All of these scenarios are okay, but one of them stands alone (literally). Most people view the one who never gets into a relationship as a little strange. For example, I knew a guy in high school who never had a girlfriend in all the four years he went to school there. He was a super nice guy and almost everybody liked him, but he never seemed to want to, or ever make the effort to, talk to girls. This blew his friends’ minds. They even questioned whether or not he was gay. Not because he acted gay, but because he never made the effort to get a girlfriend. And that is what needs to change. Being in a relationship as a teenager is such a normal thing that the people who don’t do it are strange, or assumed to have something off about them.

As someone who never was in a relationship throughout high school, I’ve heard it all. The “You’ll find someone” or the “How are you still single?” or “We’ll help you get a boyfriend,” etc etc. Sure, at times not being in relationship got a little lonely and I wondered if there was something wrong with me and all of those other negative thoughts you think. The thing was, I didn’t hear much of “You don’t need to be in a relationship,” or “You are whole all by yourself, you don’t need anyone,” or anything positive about being single. Why?

Because no one promotes being single has a good thing.

I look back on high school, and I realized I’m glad that I wasn’t in a relationship. I grew a lot in my time “alone” and I’m not sure I would be the same person if I focused a lot on dating. I know how to be happy alone, I know how to be myself, and I’ve learned a lot about relationships just by observing my friends relationships. I also realized part of me didn’t really want to be in a relationship anyway. And that’s okay!

I know a lot of people who didn’t get into a serious relationship until around the age of 21. It can be hard to make a good strong connection with someone, and some people find it in high school, some people don’t find it until they’re 30. Everyone is different, so why should anyone make a judgment on why someone is still single? Besides, it is possible to live your life without a romantic relationship, believe it or not.

All I’m trying to say is that we should normalize not-dating in high school, or not dating in all ages for that matter. We need to learn that not everyone needs to be in a relationship, and not everyone necessarily wants to be in one either. Some people haven’t made a good connection and some people have. No matter what it’s okay. We need to normalize the fact that being alone is not the end of the world and it’s most certainly not a bad thing. The media and society will most certainly push and push the fact that relationships are the most important thing in the world...

...But I say, we push back.