A couple months ago, I wrote an article that wrote viral. Having shared it sometime after dinner, I remember my eyes widening in astonishment when I realized how quickly the number of shares had increased exponentially. The next night, my boss texted me: “It should hit one million page-views today.”
Overwhelmed by excitement, I twitched as I opened the article yet again. “Holy sh*t,” I thought to myself. There were thousands of people talking about it, and several comments directly below it. Ahh, sweet appreciation! Wow!
Then?
“This article is trash.”
“Anyone who writes for Odyssey isn’t a real writer.”
“Seriously? I can’t believe how much she model shamed. That was cruel.”
Crestfallen, I swiftly exited out before reading more. Of course, there was a tremendous positive response. From “This made me feel better,” to personal messages in my inbox, the people who were moved in a good way overwhelmingly outnumbered the people who were moved in a negative way.
Nonetheless, I consistently found myself going back to those negative comments, berating myself for not phrasing certain sentences differently, or for not making my point clear enough for everyone to understand.
After a few hours of self-loathing, I realized that I had just learned a valuable lesson: criticism is not the enemy.
In a world where everyone is becoming more and more oversensitive, it's gotten increasingly easier to offend people we don't even know. More importantly, however, I learned that as much as I would love to appease everyone, I cannot. No matter what I say or do in this life of mine, I am bound to offend someone.
Every dream of mine requires stepping on someone's toes, and as much as I would like for everyone to like me, this is an impossible goal.
The fact that I think so many people are willing to ignore, is that this is not a utopian society. It is the real world. In the real world, not everyone is going to understand why you say or do what you do, because that is, in fact, the beauty of this world.
So frequently conflicting mindsets are used to divide. People are quick to anger, and quick to disagree. However, these reactions are not the problem; the problem is what we do with them.
Rather than get upset or fight fire with fire, in many instances it would serve us better to recognize what is causing the discrepancy, whether that be a cultural difference, or a difference of opinion.
Of course, when these discrepancies are rooted in hate or could cause us personal harm, then we have calm for concern.
So with the exception of opinions that are harmful or hateful, could it be possible that instead of feeling hurt by someone's conflicting opinion, instead we feel accepting?
If your parents are raging conservatives and you're a raging liberal, can you not accept the beauty of the fact that we live in a society where it is safe to fall on either side? Can we look at differing opinions and admire that someone has convictions, rather than demonize them for having opinions that differ from our own?
If we can, our lives could be much more satisfying.
Want to work at a company? Chances are high that one of your coworkers will not like you. Chances are higher that you will get little to zero recognition for your hard work, and that someone less deserving than you will get a promotion.
Want to be a lawyer? If you're a zesty female, be prepared to be labeled as a b*tch. Whoever is on the other side will most likely dislike you.
Want to write a novel? There will be critics who will hate it, and will not hesitate to say so.
Want to run for office? Every documented moment of your life runs the risk of being exposed.
The point is, no matter what you do, you are likely to face conflict. So as much as you would like to please everyone, accept now that you cannot. Yes, you can do your best, but do not get discouraged when you fail.
At the end of the day, your experiences have the power to mold you as a capable and decent individual. And you alone have the power to not let them do anything otherwise.
