Casey Throwaway is no stranger to anxiety. In fact, he suffers frequently from anxiety attacks. Two weeks ago, he did something incredibly courageous when he posted a video on YouTube documenting one of them, reminding us the importance of keeping the mental health conversation in constant motion.
Although one in five adults in America experiences mental illness, the stigma still remains firmly intact. During his speech, Throwaway addresses those who will judge him, and in spite of that, declares "people with anxiety will understand." And I do.
As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression throughout my life, I felt for him as I watched, identifying with his distress, apprehension to post, and motivation behind doing so. It's incredibly unnerving to not only be at the mercy of anxiety, but amid it, find the strength to capture yourself in a completely vulnerable state.
The nature of anxiety is that it can't always be detected, because it doesn't leave its mark in the way other conditions do, making it any easy target for skepticism. But for those unfamiliar with anxiety, let me say how truly defeating it is when you attempt to put into words what anxiety feels like, only to have someone not actually hear you. As if the condition alone isn't paralyzing enough, the frustration that incurs from being dismissed and minimized is difficult to swallow time and time again. After years of practice, one masters the art of calmly verbalizing your feelings in a moment when you're not on edge, but that doesn't mean that those feelings don't exist, or have vanished into thin air. It simply means that like any other affliction, it comes and goes. In an effort to be heard, acts like Casey's seem like the only way to validate the experience, and it's sad that we feel we have to prove it. Like he says in the video, "this is real."
Oftentimes, it feels as though I only have a binary set of options available. Declare how I feel and be deemed emotionally unstable, or watch people's eyes glaze over as they conclude how "fine" I am, making light of how real my pain feels. The answer is that mental health isn't one-dimensional. We aren't only the things we suffer from and they don't define us, they are merely parts of the whole that must be talked about, managed and never shamed for.
Much to Casey's surprise, he received a lot of positive feedback to the video, from words of encouragement to loads of support from
those that suffer similarly. Casey's courage inspired many others to share
their stories, and donate to his Kickstarter fund he formed in hopes of
acquiring the resources to fund a mental health video series on Youtube, that would allow him to connect with others who also struggle with mental illness, while continuing to raise awareness.
Backers have already pledged more than his goal, and to no one's surprise. With that, I want to say thank you, Casey. Thank you for validating my and many others' experiences and making it all the more real. I applaud your bravery to post such a honest and moving video. Your story and all those that come after it bring us one step closer to ending the stigma around mental illness. I can't wait to tune in.