If a supernova took place, but you couldn't see the sky because of industrial pollution, does that mean that there isn't a star out there?
If a person does something nice, or looks especially great, but no one tells them how lovely they are, does that mean they aren't beautiful?
Writer and activist Rupi Kaur reminds me with her poetry that it doesn't take the comments of an adolescent boy for a girl to understand that she is beautiful. A lot of Kaur's pieces become relevant within this very piece:
"...how cruel I was to myself. giving you credit for my warmth simply because you refused to take your eyes off it. as if i was already not these things before i met you as if i did not remain all these once you left."
- rupi kaur
She (you) can be confident. She is growing, learning and always giving, even if it's a piece of herself. She is enough.
Although I can't completely agree with all of Kaur's ideas, many of them resonate with me to the point where I can actually feel my heart hurting at times. That's not common for someone who's been told that her heart is made of stone (that's right, Calcutta Gold marble!)
To be shut out of a circle, rejected, or be alone in a crowded room can make a person feel really small. So take your chance, as a dot on the map, to make as big of a difference as one person can.
You're disciplined because of all the moments you exercised your patience, even when dealing with less than deserving people. They got a little out of it, but you got a lot as you learned and grew from your hardships.
You're strong because you put your foot down and conduct business. Even if you were called a bitch or bossy you knew that things had to be done, whether someone decided to have an unsympathetic perception of you or not.
You throw your hair back, roll up your sleeves, and tackle the day in spite of the fact that this world can be less than welcoming.
Your heart continues to beat even though people tried to crush it--and metaphorically, they probably did. If you're reading this, you're still alive..
You've got your needle and your thread, you've always stitched yourself back together. Whether you've got dainty little legs, or strong athletic thighs, you stand on the bones of your own body as your knees refuse to buckle to voices of doubt.
(This gif pretty much happens to describes what I'm getting at.)
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You've figured out where to find your sufficiency. Growing towards the sunlight of people who lift you up, and focusing on what makes you better is your tropism as you cut out the harmful chemicals, the things that you've learned to lean away from.
Your heart is made of stone for the starless nights, and it is made of ice when the sky is on fire with sunrise. You put your head on the ground for the things that matter; you're secure enough to know that it's okay to accept your human mistakes.
When you have a breakout, you've got reactions in your system that remind you you're still functioning. The weight of the world can be on your shoulders sometimes, so why would the skin on your face be flawless? Why shouldn't the veins in your ankles show up when you've hustled for miles? How could your skin not stretch when your frame has undergone expansion as you grew into something new? Why wouldn't laugh and worry lines show up on your face when you've spent a lifetime sharing in the joy and sorrow of others?
It's normal to be conscious, but one of our battles is not letting others make us feel like less of a person just because of the physical changes we undergo as we grow.
You don't become beautiful because someone calls you beautiful. You are beautiful. Every time you feed the needy, massage your mom's feet, and kick butt on your report card, you are showing your beauty. It is never truly hidden away.
Even when others don't agree with your choices, you make decisions that make you stronger. It took years of trial-and-error, pain, smiles, tears, and doubt to learn and to get you where you are. The beauty might not show here, but it's a part of you and still somehow exists in this odd universe.
The only pity you should feel is for those who wouldn't experience existing with you. How lucky you are, to see the colors behind your eyes when you close them, glows that others will never know.
It could take a million years for people to see the star that was a supernova. I'm talking about you girl.
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So stand with dignity, even if you stand outside the circle. There is something to be learned from everything, watch from the outside if you have to. This is not about pride or conceit, its about feeling complete with yourself to the point that you don't need the approval of strangers to be able to breath the air that keeps your spirit alive.