It hurts so much. Every time I think of you, I remember all the times I saw you suffer. I remember the times when I would sit there and watch you vomit profusely. I remember the times when I would talk and talk and talk hoping you would say something back to me, but you couldn’t because you were being pumped with drugs. I remember the times where I would watch you fighting the urge to give up because the pain was too much. I don’t want to have to remember any of that, yet it’s all I can think about. I have so many good memories of you, but all these bad ones flood my mind.

In an instant, cancer started to ruin every ounce of hope that I had. You got better then BAM, you weren’t well again. It came back even after I prayed to God every night. Cancer, you’re a real b****. You made me question my loyalty to God. You made me feel weak. You made me feel numb, and I wasn’t even the one suffering from you.

How is it possible that something so unseen by the public eye can cause so much pain? I could hear doctors talk about your cancer as if it was growing outside of your body, yet I never saw it. All I could see was its deadly effects on your body, which was much worse. I had to watch my loved one suffer for not a day or a month or even one year, but I had to watch her suffer for years.

If you haven't had to witness this terror personally, then you may turn a blind eye to all of the pain this horrid disease causes. People are so hesitant to be an advocate or even be understanding when someone they know is struggling with this disease.

Cancer, you took a beautiful mother from her children, an aunt from her nieces and nephews, a sister from her siblings, and a wife from her husband. This needs to be stopped right now. You continue to take beautiful people from their loved ones. Cancer needs to stop ruining people’s lives. I pray that someday a cure is found. I would never wish this evil on my worst enemy. No one ever deserves to go through what I had to witness and live through.

To all the families and victims of this dreadful word—you are loved and supported by many. Don’t ever hesitate to lean on anyone and do not ever stop fighting.

To cancer– f*** you.