I find it sad… to know that 23 years into my life I still live in a world where body shaming is super prevalent. I mean this from my heart, I live in a world where people still think we are disgusting, lazy, or even a fetish based on the weight we carry. Fatphobic people in particular still run rampant. This isn’t to say that there isn’t body shaming across all facets of the spectrum, but I find it troubling to know that a weight-class I find myself in is still not acceptable to some people. I remember the first time someone called me fat, I was a kid, and as most people know children can be so cruel that the bullying becomes treacherous. I had gone home crying to the mother, the one person who had told me for years that I was a goddess, that I was BEAUTIFUL, SMART, and going places. See my mother was also “fat” … and I can say that her body dissatisfaction didn’t rub off on me until a bit later in my life because at that point in time, I was perfect. Those children could no longer injure me with their words, but they enraged me. I would get fired up about their cruelty solely based on information they didn’t have. They taunted me, the only way children could… and now I am just saddened that this was their response.

Had they known that I was to develop an eating disorder, or that the thin little girl who had started the teasing did it because her mother told her she wasn’t thin enough. That she had to lose weight because no one would ever like her or that she wouldn't approve. Why would you want to tell a child that she wasn’t what you wanted? WHY would you do that? Eating disorders tend to find us, those of us who think they have thick skin; those of us who believe that we are invincible… but we’re not. I was put on a diet at 10 years old for my binge eating habits that were out of control. I hated myself, people hated me… I was disgusting to them, no one wanted to be my friend, no one cared about my well-being or the lingering feelings of overall life dissatisfaction that my own mother began to pool within our home. I wasn’t good enough at 10. I still wasn’t good enough at 14. How was I supposed to overcome that kind of shame? That my body was never going to be enough for society, ergo not being good enough for myself?

Research on the well-being of teens was done to calculate how satisfied a teen was with their overall living (school, personal, etc). These researchers found that at approximately 16, there was a drastic decrease in life satisfaction and well-being. Was this not a time for concern? Why is there not more information offered to educators or the students themselves? This idea examined overall satisfaction in life and well-being CAN be linked with emotion and behavioral circumstances. Meaning, it can be done through trauma, bullying/teasing, lack of support, etc. Overall, their research found that the older the student was, the higher their well-being would become. Is this from the initial sanctity of self?

I had to stop. Stop hearing the desperation of society forcing "ideal" body images into my skull. A time when pasta felt like the only one who understood me, where words could no longer pierce my heart as countless people had told me that I wasn't good enough. My well-being wasn't GOOD ENOUGH. Shit... to them, I was nothing more than garbage, at least that's how it made me feel. I was 17 when I stopped hearing their voices taunt me. I was 18 when I spoke out about body-shaming towards men and women who did not fit this perfect MOLD that people so desperately tried to place me into. I am not a DOLL. The people of our world are NOT moldable. We are PEOPLE! At 19 I posed naked for an outcry against everyone who had ever told me that my body wasn't good enough, that people who looked like me weren't good enough. I refused to allow society to decide what was acceptable for me, but did you know that Psychology Today does surveys on individuals who are overall dissatisfied with their bodies? An alarming 41% of males and 54% of females starting at the age of 13 are dissatisfied with their appearance/body. ... that is almost or more than half of individuals standing up to an impossible standard. What are we doing? Are we so stuck in societal views that we continue to ruin the future by constantly shoving Victoria's Secret models in their faces? (Note: I am not bashing/shaming those models, it's the idea of what a perfect individual should look like). Or over-masculinizing male actors in order to make the "perfect" male-partner? What the hell are we doing?

Now here's some real talk. You are beautiful. I will repeat that for you again, You. ARE. BEAUTIFUL. Holy shit you are amazing and your body is PURRFECT! Society can say whatever they want, we're too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, flat chested, too chesty, or too brawn... but you know what? It doesn't matter. You are PURRFECT. Now I know what you're thinking, "What does a 23-year-old know about this." ... Hi! Actual Human Being who was teased for most of her childhood and adolescent years. HI! I'm the girl that was shamed by customers as the "Fat Bitch" when they had never met me before. HI! I am the girl that spent most of her life hating every inch of her body because of society, and many of the people within it ensured me that I could and would never be happy in my skin. I was the girl that cried when someone used her at 15 to get to one of her more "active" friends. I was the one who spent years of my life in my University to ensure that Body Shaming was unacceptable. That being in your skin was perfect and beautiful. There is nothing wrong with you, even when you don't feel like this is the case, trust me... I know, but please understand that society cannot shove these ideas any further down your throat. There is nowhere else to turn except up and forward because you people are exceptional. Be excited in your body because if you are... the hate can't reach you.