I went on this date with a guy we will call Mike. He was from Argentina, he was a Coca-Cola distributor and he was very nice. We had coffee and drinks, then we shared a good-night kiss. Then I went home.

When you’re excited about someone, you want to know more about them. I went online and found his Facebook profile. When I was looking through the few pictures he posted, he had one from four years ago. He had one of him in blackface.

I asked him about it, and he said it was from high school. He didn’t understand why Americans were so sensitive to racial things. I ignored him. He Snapchatted me later and asked how I was, then said, “I don’t get why you are acting like I’m racist?”

Maybe because you are being racist.

When people say, “You’re racist” or “You’re being racist,” it’s automatically equated to “You are a bad person.” That’s not what it means. It means you’re being racist. Almost everyone is racist from time to time.

Blackface is super racist. Its origins can be traced back to the mid to late nineteenth-century when white people would put on grease to depict black people, most often free blacks or slaves, in minstrel shows. These shows mocked black people and depicted them as inferior to whites. Blackface has also been on Broadway and Vaudeville shows, and these shows were played as late as “The Black and White Minstrel Show” in 1978. Consider this excerpt from David Leonard, chair of Washington State University's department of critical culture, gender and race studies:

“Blackface is part of a history of dehumanization, of denied citizenship, and of efforts to excuse and justify state violence. From lynchings to mass incarceration, whites have utilized blackface (and the resulting dehumanization) as part of its moral and legal justification for violence. It is time to stop with the dismissive arguments those that describe these offensive acts as pranks, ignorance and youthful indiscretions. Blackface is never a neutral form of entertainment, but an incredibly loaded site for the production of damaging stereotypes...the same stereotypes that undergird individual and state violence, American racism, and centuries worth of injustice.”

Some people say it is harmless and all in good fun, but it’s not. It offends people of color and enforces stereotypes about black people. It’s a privilege to say you didn’t know blackface was offensive. “The ability to blame others for being oversensitive, for playing the race card or for making much ado about nothing are privileges codified structurally and culturally," writes Leonard.

If you have done blackface, it is forgivable. You just need to admit to yourself that it is unacceptable behavior, then not to do it again. If you know someone who has done blackface, please educate them. Only through education can we have a better society.