Why Being A Student Is One of the Hardest Things You Can Be

Why Being A Student Is One of the Hardest Things You Can Be

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For everyone who has ever been a student, you know how hard it is to be one. You are always trying to prove yourself to people who know more about a subject than you do. There is the relentless evaluation and testing of how well you know something you might not even care about, the pop quizzes on the reading you accidentally procrastinated on because you were busy with every other class you were in, and the not-so-kind teachers who hated you for no reason at all.

Its the hardest job in the world. You have to understand, and learn, and learn how you learn, to get the best grade in the class that you can get. Even if this is your blow off or easy course, you still are in there being judged on how well you know what you consider to be complete garbage and a waste of time.

All those A.P. classes, all the summer school sessions, and all the 5.0 GPA honors, what are they really worth? All the extracurricular clubs, volunteering, sports, and a job, will those matter in the long run? Not at all. They were short-term goals to get into a college you wanted. Now that you're there, it's what you do at this university that matters for grad school. So it really didn't matter that you worked so hard for that "A" in Calculus, or that you had a high GPA sophomore year. That class rank won't even be noticed when that was a big worry for some of your friends freshman year.

Because 10 years down the road, will it matter what you got in your Visual Arts class your first year of college? Or your advanced writing class? It might have gotten you somewhere, but looking back on your college years, you are not going to be able to remember the exact point value you had in American Lit, or the Life102 test that you got a D on and were so frustrated about. These numbers mean so much to you right now. The sad thing is, they won't even matter a few years in the future. They might help you get to where you want to be, yes, but all the effort, consistency, and the all-nighters you pulled to get that good test score, won't even be on your mind.

It's a constant struggle to organize, keep up, and truly understand what you are being told you need to learn to be successful. The general education classes and so-called "required" courses aren't all going to be beneficial to you--whether that's for a career, a personal interest, or just to get an elective out of the way. Not every class you take will help you, not every score you get will affect you, and not every job offer you get you will want.

It's difficult to stay focused and determined when the odds are stacked against you, you hate the subject, or your teacher just doesn't understand that their way of teaching is not how you learn. Its a cruel cycle of lecturing, practicing, studying, and testing that "society" says we need. That "society" claims to be the only way to secure a job or have one near the field you're interested in is to get a college degree.

The idea of STEM has become a huge phenomenon in the education world. Science, technology, engineering, and math--those are the jobs that will be recession-proof, they are the "future" of the nation. Is that necessarily true? Is that something that you should additionally be "required" to learn when you have enough on your plate already? Maybe you just aren't a math person, or you don't ever want to be near chemistry labs, or you can't stand writing English papers. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, so why are you being forced to prove yourself in other people's strengths? There will always be someone smarter than you, who has a better grade than you, and who is your competition. That doesn't make you want to learn that subject any more than you already have.

Being a student is a tough, demanding job. Hours of studying for every hour in class. A job to look good for a resume. Joining a club to look well-rounded. Not to say that some of it isn't fun, but you will constantly be taking trips on the struggle bus. The taxing repetitiveness of turning in one assignment after the other with no breaks from any class is exhausting work to get through. It never ends. There is always a due date quickly approaching, a research requirement to be fulfilled, and a big test coming up in your worst class.

For all the students out there: the night classes, the online courses, the studying abroad programs, the struggling freshman, the undecided majors, the seniors hunting for internships, and the graduates struggling to find jobs, the high school junior with straight C's, all and any students, know that you are one tough cookie, that you can do this, and that you can finish and graduate. You already know you have the hardest job in the world, so all those "careers" everyone else has gotten themselves are just a piece of cake compared to what you have done.


Cover Image Credit: http://www.brainreport.info/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/stressed-student1.jpg

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.
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Hey,

So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?

Sincerely,

Me

Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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I Wonder If You'd Be Proud of Me

Or if you even think of me at all.

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I wonder if you'd be proud of me.

My first thought when I wake up in the morning is whether or not you still think of me. I think about if I am wearing the right outfit if I were to see you that day. I think about if I am saying the right thing for you to want to want me again.

Throughout my day, I think about whether or not you're happy. I wonder if the feeling in my heart of missing who I thought you were is making its way to you. Sometimes I think about what I did to make you hate me as much as you do.

Sometimes when things get really hard, I think about picking up the phone to call you. Time keeps passing from the last time I saw you and during that time I've painted a picture of you that would probably only disappoint me in the end. Your phone number still sits in my phone and I go to your contact, wanting to call, but knowing that at the other end is not the person I used to know.

I wonder if you watch me. I wonder if the posts I make, pictures I post, and articles I write are viewed by you and whether or not you care to even search my name. I wonder if you ask people about me or if you care to know the person I am today.

Without you, I have changed. It has been two years and though time will only continue moving on without you, I wonder what would have happened if I didn't make the choices I made to make you react in the way you have.

When the sun shines bright on the flowers blooming around campus, I think of your jokes and sarcastic wit. When the rain pours from the sky and keeps me imprisoned within the walls of a building, I think of ways I felt imprisoned by you. When clouds form shapes in the sky that I can make stories out of, I think of the way life could've been.

Sometimes I write to you. They are the letters I can never send because I have to remind myself that though we knew each other once, you do not know me anymore. The picture in my mind of who you are now is someone who'd love me with open arms, but I know that there's no truth in that. It's only my wishful thinking out to break my heart once more.

I wonder if you hear me when I try talking to you. I wonder if the words I tell God are making their way to you as you go on living the life we always talked about when times get tough. I wonder if you're talking to God about me.

As I watch the sunset, I think about the last moment I was with you. As that chapter ended, I was only wishfully thinking that walking away would save me from further pain. In the end, I don't know about how life would've been different had it not happened.

When my picture of you gets too bright and I share it with others, I am reminded of reality. The screaming, crying, pushing, shoving, and hitting touches my skin once more in the form of flashbacks that push me further down into the depths of a depression. I am reminded of the hundreds of suicidal thoughts and letters that I've written once before.

No matter what, my heart still yearns for a hug. A hug where I can bury myself into your body and feel safe. A hug where I forget every worry in my mind and focus solely on the love.

I wonder if you'd still love me if I changed myself to be the person you've always wanted me to be. I wonder if you'd forgive me for walking away, even if it was for me to change to be a better person. I wonder if you'll ever even read this.

Days like today, I want to go back in time. I sit on the benches around campus and look up at the sky, down at the cars passing by, and listen to life move on all around me as I remain stuck. I hear people talking, see them laughing, and wonder if there's any way I could one day feel as alive as they do.

The truth is that I was never enough for you. No matter how much I changed, kept notes of what you liked so I could be like that, or just kept my head down and moved silently, nothing was ever enough.

No matter what, though, I still yearn to be loved in the way that I picture you should've loved me. Closure does not exist. You were the ones who were supposed to hold me down. But now I am nothing to you...I was always nothing to you.

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