It's Okay To Not Be Okay

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Because Life is Unexpected
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Growing up I was always told to be positive and have faith all of life's issues would work themselves out. It was encouraging and got me out of a lot of ruts, but there were times that I just felt I couldn't get out. This especially became true when I started battling with my mental health in high school and college.

People in my life tried to help telling me to keep my head high and that it could be worse and that a positive attitude was the answer to all. I politely thanked them for their efforts, but deep down I was really upset that this was how they chose to approach it. I can't just magically get better and my mental health isn't something I always have control of. So I stopped sharing as much with others, or told them I was fine even if I wasn't because it seemed to be a crime to not to be smiling like a resident of Dimmadome Acres all the time.

But eventually it bottled up inside of me and I started to get nasty with the people I care about, and I came to the realization that I needed to go to therapy to deal with these negative feelings. At first I was frustrated because I still wasn't happy all the time, but I neglected to understand the main point my therapist was trying to teach me. She was trying to teach me that it's okay to have those bad days as long as its not every day, and it doesn't take up my whole day. So I'm gonna share with you why it's okay to not be okay.

Your Standards Are Way Too High

Expecting yourself to be happy all the time is like expecting it to never rain or the moon to never rise. Impossible to attain and frustrating. One thing I've learned is it's easier to let those bad days come and go and to not force yourself to smile if you aren't feeling it. If you hide too much inside it can burst out in anger and frustration and hurt others you care about making you feel worse in the long run.

It's Natural To Have Bad Days

If every day was meant to be good then it really would never rain. There also would never be tornadoes, earthquakes, and tsunamis. But these are all necessary events to even out the balance of the world, just as our bad days help us to even out the balance in life by teaching us to cope with stress and troubleshoot to make life run more efficient.

You'll Feel So Much Better If You Let It Happen

If a volcano keeps all of its pressure in it will eventually erupt, but if the pressure is allowed to escape it can coexist with nature and be quite peaceful. This same concept applies to our happiness. If we let the bad days come and address them at face value and gain closure on that negative feeling, you can move forward with life refreshed and ready to tackle whatever comes your way.

Cover Image Credit: Public Domain Pictures

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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An Open Letter To The Girl Who Just Feels... Alone

Because "look around you, you aren't alone," is cliché and helps no one. I've been there.

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Dear strong soul,

You feel alone now more than ever. Your recent move/breakup/relationship/mistake/change in character has brought you to this point, and you don't know what to do. I want to write to you to prove that I am here, and you aren't alone.

Guess what? We get to grow!

I know you feel like no one knows you can feel your heart breaking and that you feel lost and isolated. Please, resist the urge to compare yourself to the people around you. In an age where it seems we're constantly reduced to a social image and a following we can display online, it's difficult now more than ever to "see" loneliness. In the same way, you often feel like your loneliness is masked by the image you let people around you see, you don't see half of what those around you're struggling with.

You don't see that you're not alone.

Ask yourself, what does it matter if those around you are less lonely than you are? You're YOU. You are special no matter who's around you succeeding in their own ways. You will get to the place you want to be.

This stage of life is normal and it's temporary.

You should take this time to pour yourself into what you're best at; you're so talented! Create art. Treat yourself. Grow flowers. Learn how to do something you've never tried before Don't be afraid to try new things! If you focus less on digging yourself out of loneliness and spend more time embracing this stage of life and growing strong, you'll be so much happier.

Lastly, don't lose heart. We got this. You're doing an amazing job.

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