It seems like everyone around me is constantly getting “wifed up.” One second I’m hitting the town on a Friday night with all my girls, and the next I’m hitting the town with my friends as a fifth wheel.

I’m not really sure why this happens, but it’s never me who gets in a relationship. I’ve been told with tough love that it’s because I’m either super awkward around guys, throw them in the friend zone or sometimes I’m just too much of a tease to make the chase worth it. It’s all unintentional, but it’s what I do.

I’m happy for my friends who have found girlfriends or boyfriends in college because I know they have a lot of fun together. Dating is just something that I don’t do very often. It’s not like I’m opposed to it or anything. To be quite honest, it’s because I’m scared of it but I definitely shouldn’t be. I’m scared of dating because of the obvious: I don’t want to get hurt. I know I can’t live my life being afraid, but it isn’t something that sounds appealing to me. I don’t want to stay in and have a chill night with someone. I want to go out because the fear of missing out is real.

I’m very independent and the thought of liking someone so much that they have the power to influence how great my day is going makes me want to vomit. I don’t want their mistakes to ruin a day that could be nothing but sunshine for me. The problem is, dating is important. I had a school counselor tell me once in junior high that dating is a lot like test driving cars, and I never forgot that.

He said something like, "you don’t buy the first car you test drive because you may not like the way it runs or its seats. You have to test drive many cars to find the qualities you like in the various cars and eventually you’ll find and purchase the perfect car for you. The same goes with dating. You learn from each person you date the qualities that you do and don’t like in them."

Eventually, when you’re older, you’ll find that perfect “car” and that will be the person you marry. It's important for me to get my act together and not be so afraid. I’m not afraid to test drive a car, so I shouldn’t be afraid to date around either. I’m missing the experience of learning from people by closing myself off and not allowing myself to get close to any guys in that way, all because I’m scared. I could be missing out on an opportunity to be with a great guy.

Don’t make the mistake that I have and get yourself out there. You’re only young once and this is the time to figure out yourself and who and what works for you.