Be Who You Wanna Be

Be Who You Wanna Be

Today society tells us who we should be, but dare to be different and become the person you want to become.
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Who would you be if nothing would hold you back? Would you be that doctor or teacher? Would you be the person that always makes people laugh or would you be a writer and share your stories. Who would you be?

Today we live in a world where we let society define us. We post our whole lives to social media for others to see. We strive to “one up” each other. We see what that one kid we talked to in English class once did and we strive to do something better. We let this define us. We no longer live by what we wanna be, but we live by what others think of us. I challenge you, take yourself off of social media for a week (or even a day) and your views will change. You will begin to enjoy life more, you won't be consumed by what others are doing, you will be consumed in doing what you want to do. You won't have anything to compare your life too. You begin to take a step into becoming who you wanna be.

Before we leave the house in the morning we have to make ourselves “ look good”, by the definition of others. We don't wear that crazy bird shirt we love so much because we don't want people to make fun of us or because we care what other people think of us (why....). We put on our faces full of makeup because we think we're not good enough without it. But deep inside, we really wanna wear that bird shirt and we don't wanna get up 30 minutes early just to put on our makeup (who wants to get up early?). We define what we wear by what everyone else wears, we don't style our make up our own way. We do our make up to whatever is popular. We live our lives by what we think other people need to see to accept us. I challenge you, wear that crazy bird shirt! Do your make up a different way. New trends are set because someone else stepped outside their comfort zone and took a chance. Don't blend in with the crowd, dare to stand out. When you begin to step outside your comfort zone the world grows. You take another step to becoming who you really want to be.

We also let others define our actions. When we go to the prom we don’t dance our favorite style, instead, we stand and swing our hips back and forth because that's what everyone else is doing. We don't line dance to our favorite songs because no one else is doing it. Be that person that breaks the “norms”, maybe someone else in the crowd wants to line dance and they just need you to be the brave soul to take a step. Be who you are, don’t let others define what you become. Take that crazy prom picture with your best friend! The crazy pictures are the ones that you end up liking the best. Branch out and do what you want to do. Don’t take boring pictures because everyone else does, don't get a small car because that’s what everyone else has. Get that big jacked up truck you want, who cares it’s not a “girl car”. Be who you wanna be! Do what you wanna do! You won’t be happy following the crowd, in the end. In the end, you will smile because you did what you wanted to do, and you became who you wanted to become!

Growing up I never wanted to fit the “norm”. I did my own thing and I wasn’t “popular”. Popularity is something that ends at high school graduation and honestly what does it really mean. I was always the person that did what she wanted to do. I wanted to dye my hair red, so I did. Once I dyed my hair red others began to follow. I didn’t want a “girly car”, so I got a blazer and jacked it up. I grew up in a “city” school with lots of people that haven’t touched a farm animal. I didn’t let that hold me back from wearing what I wanted to wear. I didn’t follow the “norm” of wearing yoga pants every day, I became who I wanted to become by wearing my boots and jeans. My boots occasionally smelled like swine, but I didn’t care that’s who I was. I took all those crazy pictures with my friends. I did all the crazy things to make my friends laugh, these are the memories we cherish most. I didn’t let others define what I did if it wasn’t “normal” who cares. “Normal” is not what I wanted to be. Growing up I did a lot of different things that weren’t “norm”. In the end, I couldn’t be more proud of the person I have become. When I look back, I remember all the times I broke the “norm”, all the times I was who I wanted to become!

In the end, we don't remember the person that matched everyone else, we remember the person that stands out. Think about a crowd, everyone is wearing black and one person is wear red, who do you remember? I bet you remember the one person wearing red. Let's think back in history. Do we remember the people that followed the fashion trends and just simply “fit in?" No way! We remember the people that stuck out and become who they wanted to be. We remember Rosa Parks for not giving up her seat, we remember Martin Luther King for embracing who he was and sharing his ideas. This helped so many people. Sometimes becoming who you want to be will benefit more than just yourself.

Think to yourself, who do you really want to be? Do you want to be defined by what everyone else is doing? Or do you want to step outside your comfort zone? Every Time you step outside your comfort zone, your comfort zone grows. You being to learn more. You become a better person. When you move outside your comfort zone you inspire someone else to do the same. Become the person you really want to be, who care what everyone else thinks. No one has to live your life but yourself! People come in and out of your life, but the only person that stays is yourself!

So tomorrow, wear whatever you want. Take a chance. Join the band if you want, join the football team. Take a step in the direction of who you want to be! This will make yourself a happier person, don't pretend to be someone you're not anymore.Challenge yourself!!

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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When You Decide You Don't Love Me Anymore

I'll forgive you.

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I never thought I would write this, but I feel like I have to: there will come a day where you won't love me anymore. This won't be a sad day, but instead a day I have waited for all along. You see, they all leave and that is perfectly okay. People may not be meant to be in my life for all of it, not in any of our lives but this is normal and although initially saddening it is a part of our lives and inevitably part of our journey.

When this time comes I want you to know that we did our best, that we were in fact in love once and that we had hoped it would blossom into a lifetime commitment but it didn't and I accept that and will respect you always. I know you did not wake up one day out of the blue and stop loving me, I know this feeling grew over time in your heart and that it was not something you planned on. I respect this.

You were the only person I trusted and the one I loved the most, but nothing lasts forever and I hope you can understand there is no animosity here and certainly, no stone left unturned. We just are not those kinds of people, we would have tried everything to keep our love burning bright and tried for quite a while to understand where the cracks began so that could fix them, it just isn't that simple. Love is a long complicated process, you know that and falling in love with me couldn't have been easy, I am misunderstood and stubborn as all hell and I am FULLY aware of that but that does not mean I didn't try to ease up on you, I promise I did my best.

I have always done my best to understand you, to make you happy, to keep the flame alive, but it has been extinguished. Love does that sometimes, it is there one day burning bright and then it slowly starts to dim with every fight, every unrequited "I love you" and every day passing by in which we spoke less and less about the things that mattered and more and more about worthless things.

This is all okay, it is a season of life, a part of our lives in which we do suffer but one we must grin and bear. I want you to know that I will always love and care for you, although it is now in a much different way, now we no longer look at each other with doting eyes and open hearts but instead with the freedom to let go and move on.

It is time for us to go on with our lives and find a new adventure, one that will light our hearts on fire instead of continuing to snuff our joint flame. You will always be in my memory and a huge part of my life that I once had but I accept that it's over and that time sometimes wears on things as it has worn on us.

You are the love of my life and that is truly the reason I must forgive you.

Goodbye, my love.

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