My knees are getting weak and the anxiety boils the blood that runs through my veins and arteries.
I can't breathe sometimes and I fear that I'll start to become the girl I used to be. - So broken. So tired all the time.
But then I start to remember that girl I used to be. How she wanted so badly for her heart to stop beating; but at the end of the day knew there would be something worth living for.
I live for that girl.
That girl who loves to dance and drink cheap wine. That girl who sings to show tunes and musicals in her car on her way to school.
I live for that girl.
The girl who spills so much passion and is vulnerable in her writing. Who cries at award shows and adores her brothers.
I live for that girl.
I live for that girl who never cries in front of anyone, but cries herself to sleep sometimes. I live for that girl who is kind to strangers, but not so kind to herself sometimes. Who feels bad for the bad guy in movies, and feels bad for the bad guy in real life. So she tries to fix them. Because she gets it. She wonders what made them bad; because there's always something. There's always a reason.
I live for her; because no one else does.