Around this time last year, I wrote out a list of characteristics that I wanted to have by the end of 2017. I titled it "Who I Want To Be At The End Of 2017" (see:https://www.theodysseyonline.com/who-want-to-be-at... ). I came across it last night, and I ended up laughing to myself for a long time. Not because anything was funny per say, but mostly because I became none of the things that I said I would become.

I became so much better. I can actually say I am proud of the person I have become. I became nothing that I expected I would be.

I became the most strong-willed and stubborn person. Ever. I remember growing up hearing how I "didn't have a backbone" and "needed to learn to say no". I'll admit, sometimes I still have a hard time saying no, but I am so much further than I was.

I have become so independent. (*If the song Ms. Independent didn't pop into your head when you read that sentence, we can't be friends). I don't need to rely on a guy to make me happy, and I understand that loving myself is more important than a guy complimenting me. I've always been afraid to be alone. Now, I can say with the utmost confidence that I am perfectly content with myself.

I surprised myself in so many ways. I surprised myself with a new style, a new logo, and almost an entirely new personality. I always thought that I would be reserved and sort of blend in, but I feel drawn to do the opposite now. No one remembers the girl who just "blends in". Everyone remembers the girl who wore the edgy outfit or said exactly what's on her mind, and this is where I'm at right now. Tell that girl in the hallway you like her shoes. Tell your professor that you disagree, and when they ask why, destroy them with your beliefs. I promise you, it'll make you more confident than ever.

I became a woman of God, in my own way. I've begun to understand my beliefs more deeply, and know in my heart exactly how I feel about certain things. I have learned that going to church doesn't make me more rooted in my beliefs. What helps me grow with God is alone time digging into the Word, and private conversations with God.

I learned in 2017 that mental illness is something everyone goes through, whether it is in extremes or not. Everyone understands to some degree. When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I really felt like no one could possibly understand what I was going through. Not because I didn't think people got depressed, but mostly because I felt like no one could understand it in the way I was going through it. I know now that I was wrong. Everyone goes through mental stresses to some degree, and you'd be surprised how many people go through the same situations as you.

2017 was my biggest year of growth. It set the bar so high for 2018. There were tears, but there was also undeniable joy. I learned so much about myself, and I know that this is only the beginning. I still have so much to learn.