Have you ever wondered who you are individually? It is no surprise that today like yesterday and the day before, we are concerned with ourselves and our images. Often we wonder how those around us may think of us or how we should think of ourselves. We fall into the folly of wondering where we fit in this massive universe and what life has in store. Unfortunately there are no answers to the question “Who am I?”

The magical functioning of our human brain is that it will accept a false answer over no answer at all. When we ask ourselves “Who am I?”, we cannot stop at the fact that there are no words or ways of describing something so personal. What we do instead is start categorizing ourselves in order to build a shaky definition comparable to that of other people.

Who am I? I am a father, I am a daughter, I am a firefighter, I am ballerina, I am the leading quarterback, I am an entrepreneur, I have done this, I often do that, I watch this, I hate that, I’m a part of this, I would never be seen doing that…

We make up this list that is meant to englobe our identity and we gravitate to others with similar lists. In many ways this is how we establish community. Community gives us a feeling of belonging and strength. The difficulty is that if our community is based on a category we have assigned ourselves, such as being a fraternity brother for example, we tend to lose pieces of our individuality. We lose these pieces because every category we throw ourselves in has criteria.

A prospective frat brother, Joe, has decided that fraternity life is a part of his identity. Joe will need to accept that in order to fit his criteria he will have to attend parties and experience grueling initiation. Not only does Joe hate drinking, he despises loud music. But Joe wants to be a fraternity brother so he sacrifices a little bit of his already existent identity and allows himself to be humiliated in order to mirror a stereotype.

These are the cracks in which diversity slips through. Whether we become “Country," “Basic White Girls,” or even “Hipsters”, what we are doing is spending our own uniqueness in order to feel more accepted by those directly around us. We will degrade ourselves and fall into senseless fads and idiocies in order to connect to a community.

Community is something essential, but not at the cost of ourselves. The irony is that the ball starts rolling at the idea that categorization is how we can define who we are. The truth is that there is no need for definition at all. The less we worry about image and purpose, the more we will become what we were meant to be.

The key is not in knowing "who you are" but "how you are." At any given time, ask yourself “How am I?” and be honest. When we are wrapped in categories and chained by titles, the answer is often "worn thin.” The answer should be, quite simply… happy.