After a week of being at home and with my family, the three hour drive back to school, felt more like an eternity. The whole way back was filled with music to distract myself from the ever pressing thought that I soon would crawl into a cold bed and my mom would not be a door down. The closer I got to exit 108, the more I wanted to make a U-turn and go back to my parents' loving embrace. My dorm room was dark, empty, and quiet when I returned and I already wanted nothing more than to sit in the floor and cry. How am I supposed to find joy when I seem to only be able to swim in sadness?

Every single time I leave home it is the same thing, me begging to stay, my parents telling me I can’t, and me sobbing uncontrollably for about an hour into my drive. I HATE LEAVING. So what do you do when you are crying so hard your lungs might collapse or when your heart feels like its being ripped out of your chest? How in the world am I supposed to find joy when I am 200 miles from where I want to be? Where do I find joy when my dorm room is small and lonely?

Where could I go but to the Lord?

We often sing this song in Church and honestly you, like me, probably just sing it out of habit but right now as I am sitting in my floor in a puddle of grief longing to see my family, where can I go but to the Lord? You might be battling some serious homesickness or maybe your battle is far worse than that, but when you're stuck in a dorm room, where can you go but to the Lord? We forget that Jesus has it all figured out, we just need to place all our fears, grief, and sadness in His hands and let Him take the reigns of our life.

When you are lost and alone and there is no where to go but the ground, why not look to God? I often think that God is too far away to hear or help me or that this problem will be a burden because God has other problems He has to fix, but we forget how big God is. When we are in a hole and never plan to regain ground, remember who let down the rope and is begging for you to grab it so He can pull you out. When you feel so lonely you could cry and don't know how in the world you are going to make it another sixteen days, remember who is holding your hand to keep you from crying.

Where could I go but to the Lord?

I may be alone, scared, and burdened, but my God is with me and He is with you too.