It's not butterflies all the time.

I see so many movies today where its been a couple years, and the girl still can hardly breathe when he walks into a room. I can tell you, that's not what defines love. It's not about never noticing another pretty girl or guy again. You don't become blind to the world around you.

That's just not what love is.

You don't glow 24/7, and you surely don't go through life with rarely any arguments.

I've actually heard people say before that when you really love someone, you won't feel the need to argue.

I had to bite my tongue, but I was a little irritated that there were people out there trying to portray this fake representation of what love actually isn't..

Love isn't freaking easy.

If it is easy, it isn't love.

But as cliche and corny as it sounds, how many times did something great come to you without you having to put a little bit of work into it?

I'm not saying that the man I love isn't one of the best things in my entire life-because he is.

I'm not saying that kissing him isn't one of my favorite hobbies-because that most definitely is.

What I am saying, is the more we keep trying to tell people that love is always easy, fair, and perfect, the harder we'll try and reach for something that is never actually obtainable.

I was given movies as a little girl that gave me the impression I needed a man to be happy, so ever since I was young that became my goal.

Adults would say,

"So what do you want to do when you grow up?"

Well..

"I want to live in a big house with my husband and kids, and be a doctor."

(Little me forgot that you'd need a lot of science and math to become a doctor, and bigger me soon realized that those weren't her strong points).

I'm not saying that I was wrong to want things and have my mind change, I guess I feel like I was misled by assuming I'd be happy if those things did come to me.

I wasn't prepared well enough for what love actually was.

It was like a slap in the face when my first relationship came along and we fought so much that I was in a constant state of stress.

(Also not saying that's love either).

I didn't know what actual love was because I kept trying to chase what I saw on social media, movies, and TV.

THAT ISN'T LOVE.

Let me tell you what love is,

Love is staying up until 3 in the morning because your boyfriend is sick from the chicken that apparently was in the fridge one too many days. You can't do much, but you know how it calms him down to tickle his back while he lays on the bathroom floor.

Love is going out of your way to pick up the Blueberry Iced Coffee he likes after he has a bad meeting at work, and the dogs are sick with Kennel Cough and a 300 dollar vet bill.

Love is getting her a new coffee mug-because she loves them-each time he goes on a work business trip to a new state. Then coming back and saying he forgot, but finding time to surprise her when she's the most upset.

Love is hating scary movies with a passion but waiting for the midnight showing of her favorite one with her even when you have work at 7am the next morning.

Love is giving him the last bite of your burrito even though you mentally prepared yourself for it and hate to share your food.

Love is hitting your damn hip on the drawer he leaves out every. single. morning. and still finding time to match his socks, putting them away, and close the drawer back up anyway.

Love is ugly. Love is beautiful. Love is sad. Love is fun. Love is scary. Love is a journey.

It is not this effortless ride that you'll both enjoy every part of-no matter how hard we wish it was.

But I swear to you, I wouldn't change the love that my boyfriend and I have for anything in the world. I wouldn't trade it for a relationship where we both never fought-because we wouldn't learn for the next time.

I wouldn't change it to butterflies all the time because then we'd never be comfortable.

And I surely wouldn't change it to be like the movies because then it wouldn't be us.

When it's actually love, you know that it's not easy, but it's way worth it.