Once your dog starts going down that slippery slope, you know the goodbye is coming soon.

Reminiscing soon follows the sadness and crying.

Thinking back to turning eight years old, having mom drive me to different towns trying to find the perfect dog. Seeing tons of dogs, but remembering that feeling of when I met you, just knowing you were the one.

Spending countless hours teaching you how to sit, lay down and potty training. Laying newspapers around the kitchen and putting up a fence so you couldn’t get to the carpet.

Once you got potty trained you were allowed to roam the house, which for me meant you could sleep in my bed. Every night I’d take you to my room to go to sleep, and you’d curl up against my legs.

Greeting me at the top of the stairs, wagging your tail waiting for a handshake was your specialty. Not a day went by where I didn’t look forward to seeing you when I got home.

If I ever went to the bathroom and didn’t get the door shut all the way, you’d push the door open and lay down, patiently waiting for me to get done.

Somehow you would always know when I was sad. If I was sitting in my room crying, you’d come scratching at my door. Once I’d place you on my bed you would just cuddle with me. Your silent comfort was all I ever needed.

When I left for college, you were one of my hardest goodbyes. Not a day went by when I wished you could’ve come with me.

Being off at college, and getting calls from mom and dad about you getting worse was hard, because I wasn’t there to see for myself how you were doing. When I came home for winter break, you weren’t yourself, but you always managed to be up beat. Mom started feeding you once a day because you kept getting sick. I always snuck you some of your food in the morning and afternoon. I was always so happy when you didn’t get sick.

Waking up to two missed calls from my parents was when I knew it was time for our goodbye. I called them. Once my dad answered he began to explain the situation. He started to cry when trying to explain everything to me, and that is the moment I knew it was time for me to come home.

Seeing you lay in blankets on the kitchen floor, having trouble breathing and not being able to walk, was the hardest thing I’ve had to see in a while.

I tried taking you outside to see if it would brighten you up. Instead I watched you stumble around, just trying to get back inside.

Taking you to my room wrapped up in a blanket and just laying there with you on the floor is the last memory we have together.

I decided to take you back upstairs in the kitchen where I thought you would be warmer. I sat in the living room trying to talk with my parents about putting you down.

Sometime later my mom went to check on you before she went to the store. She paused, then told my dad and I to come to the kitchen, her voice sounding shaky.

I instantly started crying because I saw that you weren’t moving. I fell to the floor next to you and picked you and the blankets up.

I just wish I would have been there next to you, or would’ve gotten a chance to say goodbye.

I just hope that you went peacefully and had a good life.

Before I left for college once again, I packed up my car and was heading back inside to say my goodbyes. I initially thought to myself that you needed to be my first goodbye. My stomach began to sink when I soon realized that you would no longer be there for me to say goodbye, and sadly would not be there to greet me when I come back.

For 12 years you changed my life for the better, and I will forever be grateful.