“Where are you from?”

That’s probably the question I was asked most often when I first came to college. I already had a hard time answering this question. Growing up a military brat, I never lived in one place for very long. I definitely think that moving around so often taught me a lot, but it also kept me from having a place I really felt that I could say “I am from here.”

When I came to college, my family was still living in the town I graduated high school from. I felt that I could claim that town as my home because of all of the emotional connections I still had to it. This went on for a little while, but as my dad is still active duty military, I knew this was bound to change eventually. In December, my dad received new orders. My family was to move 1,000 miles across the country. But for the first time, I wasn’t moving with them.

I think in a lot of ways, this fact was much harder for my family to accept than it was for me. Their eldest daughter is finally old enough to be living on her own and for the first time the family is not relocating as a unit. Even though I am not partaking in this move personally, it has presented its own set of challenges for me. Here are a few in particular:

I have a harder time identifying where “home” is.

I no longer feel I can call the place my parents live “home” because it is a place that I have never lived or experienced. I now lack an emotional connection to my parents’ home.

It’s more inconvenient to see my family now.

I already lived a good distance from my parents. It was never convenient to get there, but at least it was within a day’s drive. This move has put my family further away from me than they already were.

I want to be with them, but I also want to be independent.

I very much feel torn. My family is very important to me and I want to be there to help them transition, but I also have my own responsibilities to attend to now. Unfortunately, I cannot be in two places at once.

I’m learning that this is a difficult transition I have to make, and there is no clear solution to it. But I do know that good things can come out of this time, and I trust that they will. I’ve got a lot to figure out, but I know that I’ve got a great family to help me figure them out. They’re only a phone call away.