Breaking points. Everyone has one, but everyone reacts differently to them. It's one of the beauties of the human culture, we're very unpredictable. Some will run, some will hide, some will try to ignore everything, some will try to tackle it head on.
You feel as if the walls are closing in, that nothing is going right. You feel so... alone. It's you against the world. Junior year was my breaking point.
Coming into the year I figured it'd be one of the best. I'd finally be 21, I'd be serving on exec boards of multiple organizations, and I thought my life was finally starting to get together. But then the wheels fell right off. I was getting absolutely ROCKED in school, I learned an old friend had committed suicide, I had lost one of the best friends I made at Wake Forest due to my own selfishness, and there was a nagging feeling of never having a place at an institution that doesn't really cater to those of my background.
I was in a dark place, as a lot of people have been, and I thought there was nowhere to go and no one to help. It almost led me to make the biggest mistake of my life.
But thankfully I was wrong.
There is always someone there, multiple people even, who want you around. They want you to exist, as you should. Times may seem worse than they ever have, but you are enough, people will help, and you are strong enough. While it hurts to lose those you love, by any means, people come and go in your life as needed. If you haven't felt like you found your place, that's okay. Some people are meant to be around the same people all the time. Others are meant to continually bounce around, being a friend to all.
While saying something like that seems rudimentary, something as simple as a smile, a text, or a hello could brighten someone's day and keep them going.
Thank you Sam, Amy, Emily, Ryan, Megan and others who helped me.
For those who are still in a place of need: Never feel like you are alone. You aren't. It may be scary to open up, to break down that wall, but in the end it's worth it. You are worth it. You deserve to exist.