There's a meme that has been going around Facebook recently that posits that breaking off friendships because of differing political views "degrades democracy and free citizenship." It seems to be part of a wider narrative that has developed recently that no matter what craziness is happening in American politics right now, we should all still respect each other as people.

It's a nice sentiment and I don't think whoever made this meme had any bad intentions. But ultimately the message is extremely regressive and harmful. Sure it's generally a good idea in theory to listen to those who disagree with you. However, the issue isn't that simple.

The first problem with the idea that we should all "agree to disagree" is that doing so is often a very privileged thing to do.

Interestingly enough, everyone I saw who shared this meme was cisgender, middle-class, white, straight, able-bodied, and male. I don't think this is a coincidence. Having a lot of privilege means you are able to more easily separate your personal self from your political self which is something marginalized people are not able to do.

In the context of this election, someone who is cisgender, middle-class, white, straight, able-bodied, and male doesn't have that much of a personal stake in the outcome. Sure they are affected by what happens, but most likely, their lives will remain more or less the same. This is absolutely not the case for most marginalized people.

If Donald Trump wins the election, he would be an existential threat to every marginalized group in the U.S. He has vowed to create a mass deportation force and ban all Muslims from entering the U.S. He has promised to bring "law and order," which has been the exact justification for racialized mass incarceration for decades. And just a few days ago, a tape surfaced of him bragging about sexually assaulting women.

Being privileged means you can compartmentalize all this and still engage with Trump supporters. Many marginalized people can't do that because their very lives are at stake this election. For instance, it's impossible for an undocumented person to "agree to disagree" with someone who wants to deport them.

The second problem with this narrative is that it reinforces the idea that speech by itself is harmless. But, oppression is more complicated than one group physically oppressing another. It has a social and ideological component which helps maintain the actual physical oppression. For example, queer oppression would not have happened without the societal narrative that all queer people are naturally deviant and impure.

One of the main ways of upholding ideological oppression is through speech. How we talk helps establish and reinforce ideology. So when a person expresses an ideology that is oppressive, it can even be dangerous to "agree to disagree."

I think we all understand this to some extent. For example, no reasonable person would want the KKK to speak to a crowd of high school students. No one would want this because not only is their discourse repugnant, it could actually be harmful.

Getting back to this election, people who support Trump also play a significant role in supporting the terrible things he does. Trump did not come out of nowhere. He just saw the thinly-veiled racism of America and simply brought it to the surface. So when someone "agrees to disagree" with a Trump supporter, they are passively accepting the oppressive ideologies that fueled his rise in the first place.

I'm not saying people should ignore everyone who disagrees with them. In fact, it's good to have conversations with people with different viewpoints. But, it's a much different story when those viewpoints justify actual oppression. If someone disagrees with me on how the U.S should go about rebuilding its infrastructure, I won't think any less of them as a person. However, I will absolutely think less of them if they think all Muslims should be banned from entering the U.S.

Ultimately, when someone "agrees to disagree" with a Trump supporter, they are refusing to look past their own privilege and are passively endorsing oppression. That is something that is certainly not worth celebrating.