When They Leave Like It Meant Nothing.

When They Leave Like It Meant Nothing.

“The way they leave, tells you everything.”
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There is a poem written by Rupi Kaur that goes, “The way they leave, tells you everything.” The power of those few words hit me like a tsunami when I read them. The wave was a drowning force and I allowed myself to drink in the words knowing the weight of their truth. I am not going to write an article about how I am broken because of some break up. I am not broken — at least not any more. I didn’t stay broken over someone who left for very long. Perhaps it was because I finally realized my self-worth. When someone leaves you, they have a reason. Whether they have fallen in love with someone else, or are moving away and don’t want a long-distant relationship, they have a reason. I understand we all have our reasons for leaving a relationship. We cannot control what another person is feeling and they can’t control that they feel that way either. But what they can control, is the way they end things.

“I love you, you are so cute.” You text me as I come out of my class on my way home. I smile because I know I get to see you in a few minutes and we will have pizza for dinner like I suggested earlier. As I get into the car my phone rings. It’s you! You had just texted me, so I wondered what was so important that you had to call knowing I’ll be home in five minutes. I answer and I hear your breath shake. My heart drops, my thoughts swirl into all the possible dreadful things that may come next. Did the cat die? Did someone die? Was there an accident? Are you okay?

“This isn’t working,” you say calmly. Confused, I laugh, “That’s not funny. If you were breaking up with me you’d do it in person. You would never do that to me.” I am met with silence and the phone hangs up. I race home repeatedly telling myself that it’s just a joke and if it isn’t then we can talk about it. I get home and your car is gone, but I still run up and go inside.

The house is empty because all of you is gone. You left the pictures of us hanging on the walls, but your cluttered desk full of books and crumpled papers are all gone. The game I got you for our anniversary is gone. An empty square shape was all that was left on the table in the corner where your TV was.

I was with my boyfriend for three years. I was even given a promise ring. And yet, he walked out on me like none of those years or promises meant anything. People break their promises, I get it. But no one deserves being walked out on.

There is nothing harder than being left with no closure. It’s even harder when you realize that the person who was supposed to love you, left you with no closure on purpose. It is a daunting realization to have when the person you loved with all your soul leaves in a harsh and selfish manner. People are selfish by nature, it’s always tempting to cut and run. Maybe in some cases that works, especially in the face of abuse, but in my case, it was completely cold and unnecessary.

However, there is a silver-lining. Like many harsh lessons in life, I needed this one. I have learned many valuable things in the wake of this tidal wave of disappointment and grief. There is so much that I learned about myself and what relationships are and aren’t supposed to be about.

I learned that I should never let someone who has left me, define who I am. We begin to doubt ourselves because we are left without closure. We have a million questions, and the immediate thought to point blame at ourselves. How someone leaves is a reflection of them, not you. Allow this experience to be a lesson. Allow it to make you realize who that person really was. Don’t romanticize their leaving and think to yourself, “They will come back because they loved me.” Because the truth is that person didn’t respect you enough to leave in a way which showed they cared in the first place. Who wants to be with someone like that? Realize that unconditional love is unhealthy. Love yourself just as much, if not more. The more you love yourself the more you realize that you deserve better and you don’t need anyone. You want someone to walk along beside you in life, not lead you or define you. And most importantly, find your strength from within and not from someone else or your relationship. I drew so much strength solely from being with that person and when they left I didn’t know how to be strong because I relied on them to give me that strength. I can see now, that I have more strength than I ever thought I was capable of. So, what happens when they leave like it all meant nothing? You see that person for who they really are: a coward. Not only will you discover just how strong you are, but what you really deserve in a partner and a relationship. Own your so-called tragedy and turn it into a moment that you will look back on later in life and thank your stars that it happened because you are a better, stronger, and happier person because of it.

Cover Image Credit: The Walrus

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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6 Ways For Men To Understand Women

The introduction. Let's face it, there's WAY more than 6.

JordynL
JordynL
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We know we're confusing, but hopefully this helps you understand us a little better.

1. "I have nothing to wear"

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We realize that we have a ton of clothes in our closets to choose from. We know that some things are super similar. We know that there are some things we wear all the time and other things that we NEVER wear. Regardless of the Go-Tos or "I'm saving this for a 'special occasion'" (which will probably never happen), there's always an excuse. When we say we have nothing to wear, it means that we don't have anything that we WANT to wear.

This contributes to us taking SO long to get ready. Whether it's a date, a night out with the girls, hanging out with a group, or just another Tuesday, we never have anything to wear. We try to dress to match our mood, but that's still not a guarantee. It never is. If we try something on, thinking that it'll work, there's always something wrong with it SO it goes in the reject pile. As the pile grows, we reach the "I have nothing to wear" stage.

And just to make things more complicated and annoying, we go back to the first outfit we tried on and call it good -OR resort to the Go-Tos that we wear WAY too much- (at least I normally do). We waste all that time and effort and there's usually no way to get around it.

2. Periods

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Guys, let me explain to you how a period works.

Every month, our Uterus starts decorating a nursery. "Just wanted to let you know I have everything prepared for the baby! The nursery looks great and I picked out this pretty wallpaper and I'm gonna read stories to it every night!"

Then we come around and say "Oh.. There's not going to be a baby this month.."

Uterus: ......

Us: "Oh god, please no"

Uterus: .... *trashes everything* *rips off the wallpaper* *screams like an angry baboon*

THIS gentlemen, is what we have to go through. Every time we get a cramp, it's basically our uterus stabbing us with broken pieces of the crib and twisting it. This is why we double over. This is why some (maybe most) women cry during their periods. Our uterus throws a freaking temper tantrum when we don't get pregnant.

By the time the uterus gets tired and forgives us, it goes back to setting up a new nursery with upmost excitement. And when we don't get pregnant, the cycle repeats.

Wanna know what to do? Don't make us do anything. Pamper us. Most women like to eat chocolate, so do that (for some reason, that doesn't work for me, but oh well). Have the heating pad ready to go. Ice cream. Even while we look disgusting, reassure us. The uterus' temper tantrum makes us question everything so be ready for that.

But God help you if you say the wrong thing. Most of the time, we don't know what that wrong thing will be, so tread lightly. Just do NOT say ANYTHING about PMSing. Our uterus will hear that and give us some of that hateful energy to rip you apart.

You have been warned.

3. Unsolicited dick pics

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Just don't. Despite what you think, they are NOT aesthetically pleasing.

When a girl actually asks for them and/or agrees to swap nudes, that's the only time it's okay. But if they're anything like me, the pictures still won't do anything for them. I guess it's to make y'all feel wanted and appreciated? I don't know.

If you send unsolicited dick pics, there's a pretty good chance that her girlfriends will see the pictures so be warned.

4. Hoodie Theft

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Sorry guys, there's no way to get around this one. If your girl takes your hoodie, you probably won't get it back.

And if you try to out-smart us by getting two of the exact same hoodie so both of us have one, that won't work either. You foolish mortals think we won't take the second-twinning hoodie too? HA.

5. You: "Where do you want to eat?' Her: "I don't know"

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I HAVE YOUR SOLUTION.

Instead of asking your girl where she wants to eat, MAKE HER GUESS where you're taking her. Her first guess is where y'all are going.

The code has been cracked and most girls don't even realize this sneaky trick (unless they've seen the Twitter meme).

6. The silent treatment

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Honestly... when we're giving you the silent treatment, USUALLY it's because we want you to figure out what you did wrong for yourselves. But it makes this difficult because sometimes we don't even know the reason. Stupid? I know. But we're girls. What do you expect?

We're waiting for you to come up with a solution to whatever problem we think you caused. Because we're right. Even when we're wrong, we're right.

You've probably found with personal experience that you've always found a way to screw it up and you don't even know how. She freaks out for almost no reason and usually never shares why she's so pissed off.

If you don't wanna take the chance on finding the solution because of even the slightest fear of making it worse SOMEHOW, just chill. Spend time with her, don't do anything stupid on your phone, don't play games online with the guys- just spend time with her. It'll let her know that even though she's freaking out for probably no reason, that you still care. Because what'll happen if you leave? "OH SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET UP AND LEAVE?"

You guys are honestly in a lose-lose situation and I feel for y'all so much. If you know her well enough to leave and let her calm down, then go for it- at your own risk. Just handle the situation calmly and be like "if you need anything, just call or text me. I'll be there."

DO NOT TELL HER TO CALM DOWN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Just give her space SOMEHOW and let her chill. She'll more than likely be over it the next day.

I know this whole thing is giving you mixed messages on what to do, but honestly we don't really know what we want you guys to do, so there you go.

This may help, this may not, but it's a decent start. :)

JordynL
JordynL

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