I've been a helper and a leader for as long as I can remember.

From kindergarten when I made my first friend by helping another kid up at recess, to being the person in high school that many friends came to with their problems, to leading the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and then helping lead a Bible study in my undergraduate years, that has been my station. With exceptions, of course, I would say it is a station in which I have performed well.

And yet, there are some ways in which I haven't.

I love to help other people, but sometimes I forget to help myself.

That statement is true for me, and I've known it to be true for many others in positions of leadership or with passion for care. So often our hearts are so big that we feel we can give endlessly, until nothing is left for ourselves.

It's an understandable predicament, and a common one at that. We become familiar with such phrases as "he needs help more than I do," or "I have to be the rock, I can't show weakness." It's not always so easy to deal with, either.

Both from personal experience and the stories of others, I know that leading and helping can leave us isolated. Sometimes we become close to the people for whom we are strong, but more often than not (and typically with good reason) we are a helper/leader more than a friend. We are the person contacted when someone is in crisis, when they need a major opinion, when they don't want to be alone.

I think I speak for most leaders and helpers when I say that our roles can become draining. By nature of our empathy and concern, we spend much of our time either being supportive or looking for someone who needs support.

Even so, many of us feel that we can and should be strong enough to carry on. Much of my life I spent without close friends, and late in high school/early in college I lived with some depression and even suicidal thoughts. But I was a helper and a leader, and I felt deep down that the difference I could make would be limited if I showed weakness.

But I was weak; we all are, really. I just wasn't willing to face it for fear that it would limit my ability to help.

I moved past my depression, but then I covered up my further struggles. Rather than looking at ways I could strengthen or care for myself, I dove into my role as a supporter, as a leader.

Some people say that if you don't take care of yourself you can't make a difference, but I beg to differ. It's not true for everyone, but there are many people (such as myself) that have the ability to cover up their feelings quite well. The thought is often that the pain of others is more important than our own.

Some give all of their time to help and to lead, and for those things they lose sleep, miss meals, and see their social life suffer.

Being so inclined to help and to sacrifice is not bad; on the contrary, it can be a beautiful thing. But there is danger in trying to lead people down paths we have not traveled. When we've faced our own issues, we have stories that we can share to not only give advice with people, but also to truly connect and relate with them.

And then there is the danger of hurting others from our own ignorance of self. As most car owners (hopefully) know, when the warning light comes on and we refuse to look under the hood we risk breaking down in the middle of the road and causing a wreck. If we don't look at our own negative feelings and struggles, they will eventually catch up with us no matter how powerful the engine. In our roles as helpers and leaders, there are many people on the road following us – if we don't check on ourselves and break down in the middle of the road, it's not that surprising to expect some fallout.

We help others, or at least I do, because we love it. I find it fulfilling. But if I tie my worth to other people and lose sight of my worth in Christ, as I sometimes do, I burn out quickly. When I trust in Him, find ways beyond just helping to have fun, and take care of myself physically (working out, eating, getting good sleep, etc.), that love is alive and well.

I still love helping people. But I also take the time to breathe, to enjoy my life, because it's something I hope to see others do too.