When The Good Friend Goes Bad

When The Good Friend Goes Bad

I'll be there for you, if you're there for me too.

I used to pride myself on being the friend whom everyone could talk to and felt comfortable being around but lately, I’ve noticed I haven’t been feeling that way.

This is not just a one instance thing that has changed my whole perception on myself it’s that I just don’t feel the same. So I decided what better to do than write about it, and maybe I could organize my thoughts.

We all know the good friend, the one who is always lifting others up and puts people before herself. We also all know the too good friend, she’s the best friend. She’s the friend who pulls you together after heartbreaks, she mourns the loss of your favorite childhood dog, jams out to boy band hits and reminds you there’s no way you could fail out of college. She’s the friend that even when you’re grounded your parents will let you still hang out with.

This friend pours her heart and soul into her friendships sometimes finding the recipient is simply that. A recipient. Who unfortunately is mainly a taker and not a giver. So what happens to the good friend who is always there. Well, she vanishes. She rips the doormat off of her back, takes the weight off her shoulders and she just might go bad.

Not this kind of bad.

No, not a bad ass. A bad friend. The kind of bad that turns a very selfless person into a selfish person. If you are constantly giving and giving and giving you run out. Then you revert to finding people who will appreciate you and lift you up.

You look for friends who want to hear about your heartbreaks that have never been listened to. Your search for friends who holla back with a YAS QUEEN. And next thing you know you have created a tornado of selfishness because you always find ways to bring the conversation back to you. You get called out for not being interested until it is about you and you selectively listen until you’ve completely ignored your friends’ problems.

This transformation is like an avalanche. It is quiet but dangerous to anything in its path specifically any type of friendship. How do you stop it? I think it is a Mean Girls effect where you don’t see what you’ve done until something or someone brings it to your attention. I don’t have a specific pinpoint moment I think it hit me when I felt like people were often more unhappy than happy with my actions.

However, I have good friends. Friends who know how to balance their self-love and love for others. Friends that can help me find equilibrium again so that I’m not extremely giving or extremely taking. I am extremely blessed to have them in my life because they haven’t given up on me yet.

So, to my overly good friends and my bad friends, it’s time to stop. For the good friends, don’t be a doormat or dumpster for problems.

Speak up for yourself and express what you’re feeling. If you’re not getting what you want out of your friendship then cherish it enough to save it now instead of waiting a few years when it is TOO LATE. To the bad friend, you need to care about people other than yourself plain and simple. If you can’t be a good friend then you can’t expect the good ones to stay forever and you also can’t be mad at them for leaving a friendship that is reciprocal, that’s your problem.

We need to evaluate our friendships every now and then to see what is going on so we don’t become or stay bad friends. Ultimately, the bad friend ends up alone but there is no time like the present to change. That’s what I’m going to do and hope you will too.

Cover Image Credit: bex.and.the.cityy

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!


What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

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2. Phone juul holder 

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3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

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5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

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6. Condom case

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7. Frat house candle

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8. "Frat" sticker

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9. Natty Light t-shirt 

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Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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This Thanksgiving I’ll Say, 'Thank U, Next' To My Ex-Best Friends

I am thankful for what they have taught me and how they have shaped me into a better version of myself!


Recently, I have had Ariana's latest song "Thank U, Next" on repeat. I love the message of positivity and self-love that it sends. As I listened to it, though, I realized I wasn't exactly connecting it to any of my ex-boyfriend's (I'm still thankful for them, too), but rather my ex-best friends. So, this Thanksgiving, I thought I should show some thanks for what they have taught me and how they have helped me grow.

To the friend who taught me love:

You were once someone I considered a sister. From the moment I met you, we had an indescribable bond that lasted for almost eight years. You showed me what it truly means to have a best friend that is more like family. Towards the end of our high school days, the foundation of our friendship weakened, and life got in the way. I don't want you to ever believe that I am not thankful for all of the years of our friendship. You cried with me when I was heartbroken over the boy who I thought I'd never get over. You fangirled with me over band members we thought we might marry one day. You laughed with me over dumb jokes. Most of all, you were the best friend I ever had. Every day I think about you, and I hope that your life is treating you well. I know after college, you'll be so successful. I only wish the best for you.

To the friend who taught me patience:

We became close at a time in both of our lives where we struggled with mental illness. We fought it together and created a bond out of what we were struggling through. You helped me immensely through that time in my life. You guided me through a toxic relationship, one that came in between our friendship at one point. We lost touch for about a year, but when we reconnected our bond grew even stronger than it was before. You were extremely real with me. You never sugar coated anything, you helped me find closure with a lot in my life. We drifted apart as we made new friends, but I still love to watch you thrive. I will never forget the many football games we went to together, or the late-night talks about what we were struggling with. You helped me on the path to loving and accepting myself, and for that I thank you.

To the friend who taught me pain:

You came into my life in a unique way. We built our friendship through text message, and our bond was something so new and fresh to me at the time. I remember the intense excitement I felt when I finally had the chance to meet you for the first time. You made promises to me that I thought you would keep. I thought you were a forever friend. A few years into our friendship, I could feel you slipping through my fingers. We argued often, you canceled plans at last minute, and I clung onto something that didn't exist anymore. I reminisced on times where we would stay up till the early hours of the morning, texting each other, trying to comprehend how much our friendship meant to one another. Our friendship, that was once so deep and meaningful soon became extremely toxic. We didn't talk for months straight after our last and biggest fight, and once we finally did, you had given up on me. You taught me some of the worst pain I have ever experienced in any friendship. I am so grateful for our friendship because you taught me that I needed to put myself first. You taught me that I needed to be my own best friend.

"I know they say I find new best friends too fast, but this friendship will last, 'cause her name is Emma and I'm so good with that." I am my own best friend, now. I pick myself up when I fall and I grow stronger through my struggles with my own guidance. Each one of my ex-best friends has guided me to become the independent person I am today, and for that, I am so grateful.

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