Lately, I have been trying so hard to try to understand God, and why he lets certain things happen in life. On Sunday, I lost a friend unexpectedly. Since learning that news, I have been feeling a certain amount of brokenness. Not only brokenness because it makes me upset, but brokenness for her family, and the people who knew her. I know from experience that it hurts losing someone you love. My heart hurts for her family, and I am back to questioning God and asking “Why”. The small word, that we have no answer to.

In Isaiah 55:8-9 it says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways. This is the Lord’s declaration. For as Heaven is higher than Earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

This bible quote tells us that there are certain things that God does that we cannot understand, like death. He has power over all, and control over everything that happens every day. We have a plan for our lives all laid out, but often time our plan doesn’t align with what God has planned for us. Our lives may feel shaken up sometimes, but what surprises us does not surprise God.

We have a God who is not afraid of our tears. He is the God who climbs into our pain with us.

You may be thinking " Where is she going with this post?" Well, my point is that we are not immune to struggles and hurt in this lifetime. It is something that we cannot avoid, and we cannot control. I am under a lot of stress at school with classes, and also this week my headaches have come back. All of last year, I had really painful headaches due to sinus issues, and over the summer I had a surgery to get that corrected. After my surgery, my pain went away and it was the best thing ever. I was praising God so much because I thought the storm was over. But sadly, it was short lived and the pain is back. As I type this article through my head pain, I am just reminding myself that one day it will be fixed. One day I will feel better. This is just another bump in the road. My small group leader, Ruthie, reminded me something that is very important: character doesn't develop without challenges, and God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I am just learning how to live with it again until I get in touch with my doctor. I know that God is in control, and He knows what is going on, I just wish I could understand, or that He would show himself to me.

I have grown in ways I did not think possible, and now have the strength and ability to help other hurting people around me.

Even though God’s plan may not make sense, He still does have a plan for each and every one of us.