What do you do when God calls?
I have always been a planner. For as long as I can remember, I have always had a majority of my life planned out. The biggest detail I have always been certain of is my education and career. Since I was very young, I have always wanted to be a veterinarian. Maybe want isn't a good word considering I was DEAD SET on being a veterinarian.
That plan was still the same up until this summer, the summer before my junior year of college. I attended two years of community college getting my basics done, and finally, the moment was here to transfer to the school where the really important classes began. Over this summer, I decided to rededicate my life to Christ, and also decided to get baptized. Definitely best decisions of my life, but those moments began a chain of events that led to God changing my plans.
I never really believed in true signs from God. I always noticed that there were things here and there that seemed to point in a direction, but until I really gave my life to Christ, I never believed in Him showing real-life signs. I guess it began when I worked for several vets prior to starting school. As much as I admired them and what they did, I hated my job. I hated the loss. I hated seeing the pain the animals felt. I had breakdowns every time we euthanized an animal.
I couldn't handle it. But I still never saw it as a sign.
Then it continued with a tugging on my emotions that I just couldn't explain. I had just been accepted into a great school, was finally going to be taking the classes I was interested in, and everything was going as planned.
I should have been happy right? But I wasn't.
I would have breakdowns where I just wanted to go home. I would just sit in my apartment and cry. Before school even started, I dropped my pre-vet concentration. I felt a wave of relief. I would just stick with Animal Science because I knew I wasn't supposed to be a vet, but I had to stick with animals right?
Wrong. It wasn't enough.
After a semester of classes as an animal science major, I came home over Christmas break feeling lost and discouraged. But I couldn't change my major. What was I gonna do? I have always known I was gonna work with animals. But God finally got through to me...
Over Christmas break, I resumed some work with a Children's Hospital that I used to do in high school. A charity event, collecting toys for the children stuck in the hospital over the holidays. Then it hit me. The immense joy I experienced from helping those children.
I finally understood. My whole life God was preparing me for this.
Growing up, I never had the cookie cutter injuries most kids get, like a broken arm from playing sports. I was stuck in a gastroenterologist's office in 6th grade because I threw up my food every day and no one knew what was wrong with me. I was blind for 2 months and then had major surgery and stitches in my eye at 15 because a firework exploded in my eye. I have endometriosis that has been removed and keeps coming back.
All of these experiences were so hard because the children my age never understood and usually didn't have to go through these things. But it was God all along. He was molding me into a person who could understand. He was making me a voice for children.
So now I am a child development major. I will graduate with a bachelor's and a certificate in global child advocacy. After I complete my master's degree, I will become a certified child life specialist, which is someone who works in the medical setting and helps the children understand what they are going through, and helps the child and their family cope with it.
Where I am now is a far cry from where I thought I would be. But I have never felt more at peace and happy in my life. God has shown me my purpose. I'm not perfect, not even close, but the moment I allowed myself to follow God's will and get close to Him, my life began to make sense. It might have taken me six months or more to sort through the uncertainty and chaos, but now that I understand it is all worth it. God has a plan for all of us, He only wants us to surrender our worries and follow Him.
So what do you do when God calls? You go.