When You Don't Even Know A Person You Used To Love

When You Don't Even Know A Person You Used To Love

Change really is unavoidable with time...

It’s a really weird feeling and one that is hard to put words to. You used to know this person even better than yourself. They were the person you wanted to share all your stories with, the person you wanted to talk to constantly, and the person you couldn’t imagine your life without. Talking to them everyday wasn’t even a question, it was a habit. Fighting was normal and was almost always resolved within the day, you had a good deal of their clothes in your closet, and their happiness was your happiness.

Time and distance force themselves upon us as we grow up and go out into the real world. Sometimes that person that used to be your everything turns into a nobody, and the saddest part is it happens in the blink of an eye. One day your with them laughing and playing, telling them every detail of your day, and, next thing you know, two years have gone by. You don’t know if they’re in a relationship, if they have a job, how their family is, or what they do for fun now. It’s quite surprising how much you can miss in a person’s life in only a matter of a year.

Curiosity will take over every once in a while and you’ll send a few texts to re-cap, or have a phone call about the most recent news in their life, but after that you just go on about your day as if everything were normal; which it is. Normalcy to you now entails them not being a daily part in your life. It’s something you never ever could have saw coming or thought would happen, but it does. It’s really scary because, looking back, you realize all the time that goes by and how little you know about them and then remember that they know just as little about you. Someone that used to be attached to your hip has turned into a phone call every five months. You become nostalgic at first, remembering all those nights you stayed up until 4a.m. talking, and that time you brought them to an awkward family gathering you didn’t want to have to face alone. Next, sadness sinks in. You feel guilty for not keeping in touch. It upsets you that you actually have no idea if they are happy or not when you used to know their happiness by the hour. Their life has changed, but so has yours.

Something I think we all overlook is the pure idea that, sometimes in life, you have to make sacrifices. You will not be able to stay in touch with every single person on your high school lacrosse team, you will not speak to your, once thought to be, love of your life, and you may even find it hard to stay in contact with an old best friend. Everyone is doing different things and are in completely different areas of their lives, and that’s okay. We all grow up, we all get lost, and we find ourselves again…sometimes even better than the person we were before. Enjoy the time you have now with the people that mean the most to you. Make the relationships mean something while they’re still alive. Remember that just because you may not love the person you used to right now, doesn’t mean you never did and just because you might have drifted, doesn’t mean you can’t mend.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.jeffreydavisjr.com/appreciating-the-good-days/holding-hands-2/

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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To Anyone Who Needs to Hear It, You Are Not A Burden

Reach out to your friends & family when you need help


We all struggle with something. No one goes through life unscathed - we all face many trials and battles. The reason for these sometimes seemingly insurmountable mountains is to show us our own strength when we conquer them. However, we were never meant to climb them alone. That's why we are also given friends, family, mentors, and others to help us along the way. When we lean on those around us, the mountain doesn't become smaller, but the climb becomes easier because we aren't just relying on our own strength anymore.

Think about a time when a friend or loved one reached out to you in need of help. How willing you were to be there for them because you cared about them and loved them and wanted to help them. How good you felt afterward because being there for someone made you feel useful, purposeful.

Now think about whatever it is you struggle with. Maybe it's an addiction you can't give up, dealing with an eating disorder, living with depression, anxiety, struggling with school, relationship problems, or the grief of losing a loved one.

Know this - you are not alone in these struggles, and your friends and family WANT to be there for you.

You are not a burden to them. They want to see you flourish, and they want to be in your corner when you are hurting. Plus, the odds that they themselves have struggled with the same thing you are struggling with are pretty high. Having someone you trust know what is going on gives you someone to lean on, and it is so much easier when we know we aren't alone. They might not be able to give you expert advice, but they can be there for you even if just to sit with you quietly and be your company. Because you MATTER, and you are WORTH it. When we stop trying to carry all our weight on our own backs and let other people carry some of the load, we can stand taller. Don't believe the lie that you are alone in your struggles, because the truth is you are so loved by so many.

Reach out. You matter to me.

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