I am generally a peaceful person. I’m the typical avoid-conflict-and-try-hard-to-make-sure-as-many-people-as-possible-are-happy kinda of person. However, occasionally something will spark a flame in me. These moments usually come when I see someone around me being treated unkindly and especially those I care deeply about.
Earlier this week, before I had to go to work, I received a call from one of my wonderful friends. I picked up with a cheerful “Hey, what’s up?!” She responded with “So guess what?” presuming it wasn’t anything negative I replied, “What?!” She responded, “So my boyfriend broke up with me over a text message today.” My heart began to beat faster as my face got a little warm and I said, “You’re kidding me, right?” And she responded by saying, “No, I’m serious.”
Let me give you a little bit of background. My friend is the type of person who is so thoughtful and caring that she takes the people she lets enter into her life very seriously. She is like me, she doesn’t want to hurt anyone, so she thinks more than twice before she brings others into her life more deeply. However, once she feels strongly enough that the relationship is worth the chance she cares for you like no other. So, for the past three years she decided dating wasn’t her priority because she wanted to focus on school and knew it wasn’t the best time for her to juggle a relationship, but finally, she had decided she was confident about dating again. She had a couple of friends set her up on blind dates that were the stereotypical bad blind dates, but then this guy came along and -- he was different. When she would talk about him, I could hear the excitement in her voice. He would bring her flowers and cook for her. She would have a crazy sleeping schedule to allow them to have time together around his busy schedule. I was so happy for her because I was so glad that her taking a chance had paid off because she had found a guy who seemed to care so much about her.
The day before he sent her the message breaking off their relationship, he had told her he loved her. Then out of nowhere, things were over. When she received the message she asked if they could meet in person or at least talk over the phone, but he responded with “See, I’m not good at this kind of thing.” Leaving her with absolutely no explanation.
The sad thing is I believe my friend’s situation is similar to many others' stories, both men and women. People treat dating like it’s a nice dip in the pool. They quickly jump into refresh themselves, and when they feel better, they get out; they leave, and your back in the hot heat and feel gross again. Hookups are cool, but when it comes to commitment , it’s another story. I don’t know, maybe this guy thought he was sparing my friend by breaking it off early on in a way that would clearly make her want to forget him, but anyone in her shoes deserves an explanation. Guys may have big muscles, but no amount of muscles can make up or mask the lack of manliness breaking up with someone over a text message embodies. Same for women, you can have the prettiest clothes and makeup, but if you don't respect the other person enough to talk to them when breaking things off, then you aren't embracing true beauty. I mean I get it, we don't want to see them hurt, we want the “easy” way out, but let's not act like this is middle school. People put their hearts out there, when it certainly isn't easy,
Our society should not be OK with text message break-ups. People deserve our time. These people invest in you. They take a leap of faith, because honestly, this is a prime example of why dating sucks in this society. I’m a lucky one, there are still good girls and guys out there who take your love seriously, and I happened to catch one. I’m engaged, but almost all of my close friends remain single. So this is a cry for our millennial men and women to fight for true relationships. We are supposed to be a generation that is a sea of voices of hope in this crazy world. Yes, we are all human and can be completely stupid, but we claim to be a generation that stands up for people’s rights, yet we treat the people around us like they aren't worth our time. So this is me standing up for my single friends who deserve way more than just a text message break-up.
