Losing a best friend

Breaking Up With Your Best Friend Tops All Other Breakups

It hurts like hell.

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There will come a time in your life where you'll need to encounter your most brutal breakup yet. It will be something you never could have pictured happening in a million lifetimes.

This breakup isn't going to be with the boy who took you to Chipotle on Friday nights. It's not going to be with your prom date, your first love—it won't even be with the person you saw yourself marrying one day.

No, this one is different. Because this breakup, the one that trumps all the others by miles and miles, is when you break up with your best friend. This is the best friend that you spent nights making dumb music videos with and had four sleepovers in a row with that one Christmas break. This is the girl with a bright smile and a summertime-tan on the screensaver of your laptop, the one hanging up in half the pictures in your dorm room. This is the girl whose family vacations you went on, whose siblings and parents you love like your own.

It's going to hurt like hell.

This girl knows everything about you, and she's seen you fail miserably: through every uneven haircut, every dumb choice, every stupid boy who left your Snapchats on open, and every other little problem the two of you vented about.

She was there in your childhood room, curling your hair before your very first high school dance. When you were fourteen, she watched you have your first kiss on a park bench while hiding behind the slide. Your parents scolded both of you when you stole Mike's Hards from their cooler. She was on spring break with you when you used baby oil instead of tanning lotion, and helped you put aloe on when you couldn't move your arms. You worked together in the summer and irritated everyone so much that your bosses made a point not to schedule both of you at the same time. You went to the library together and turned in your college applications at the same time.

This girl has also watched you grow immensely: through every good grade, every new journey, and every happy summer day.

If your friendship was anything like the one I had, you probably did everything together. We used to look at each other and immediately burst out laughing because we were thinking the exact same thing. There were moments when it almost felt telepathic. We saw our favorite artists in concert together, we went on crazy adventures and almost died on multiple occasions, and we fell asleep watching our favorite movies on the couch together.

At the time, it's almost like the thought itself is out of the question. Because for a blissful moment, you never can fathom a day when the two of you grow apart. We planned to be the maid of honor at each other's weddings. We planned to travel together once we finally had the money. We planned to force our children to either date or be best friends when we became parents.

You learn with time how complicated these things are because best friends can break up for a multitude of reasons. Maybe it happens suddenly, and trust can never be repaired. Maybe you drift apart over time and slowly grow to have nothing in common anymore. Maybe it's a new job, a new boyfriend, another close friend that enters the picture. Each case is different, and none end up being more bearable or less hurtful than the other. It all hurts the same.

Here's the thing. As much as this realization will pain you, as much it will make you want to rip your hair out or bite your nails or completely break down to start all over again, there is something to be gained at the end of all this. The truth is, those we hold close to us never truly leave our lives.

There's an ancient Eastern Asian belief that those who have impacted our lives are connected to us through an invisible, red, string. They call it the string of fate.

Throughout your lifetime, you'll create an intricate web of these strings. And though you and the others entangled in your web are bound to evolve in unpredictable ways, the strings you share with others can never be broken. Life gets yucky sometimes. The strength of our strings are tested: they waver, they tangle, they stretch out. But they can never truly break. The most meaningful ones will always be there for you, to smile and look back on with happiness.

Some of the relationships we think will last forever are truly only reserved for a few years of our lives because our characters are constantly shifting. I believe these people are given to us as a blessing to help us develop into the people we need to eventually become.

Growth is not possible without outgrowth.

Meaning we outgrow objects, places, and (unfortunately) people over time. So, at the end of the day, when a relationship or a friendship has been broken past repair, there is something we need to keep in mind. That is, when we begin to outgrow relationships that no longer suit us, we must gracefully accept this as a sign of personal growth and keep moving forward.

So, to my ex-best friend, thank you for helping me become the young lady I am today. You taught me so much that I will never be able to unlearn. Your influence on the most formative years of my life is unshakeable and will remain to be. It's unfortunate that things unfolded the way they did, but you will always be a part of me and one of the most important people I've encountered in my lifetime. I will always be here for you, silently cheering you on from the sidelines.

I hope the best for you. I hope you get to travel to all the places we wanted to. I hope you learn to better love yourself, and others. I hope you find someone that treats you right. I hope you find happiness and peace in your surroundings. I hope you get the job of your dreams one day and have a beautiful family.

Know that in hindsight, I wouldn't change a thing.

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To The Nursing Major During The Hardest Week Of The Year

I know that no grade can possibly prove what kind of nurse you will be. I know that no assignment will showcase your compassion. I know that no amount of bad days will ever take away the empathy inside of you that makes you an exceptional nurse.

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To the Nursing Major During Finals Week,

I know you're tired, I know you're stressed, and I know you feel like you can't go on. I know that no part of this seems fair, and I know you are by far the biggest critic of yourself. I know that you've thought about giving up. I know that you feel alone. I know that you wonder why in the world you chose one of the hardest college majors, especially on the days it leaves you feeling empty and broken.

But, I also know that you love nursing school. I know your eyes light up when you're with patients, and I know your heart races when you think of graduation. I know that you love the people that you're in school with, like truly, we're-all-in-this-together, family type of love. I know that you look at the older nurses with admiration, just hoping and praying that you will remain that calm and composed one day. I know that every time someone asks what your college major is that you beam with pride as you tell them it's nursing, and I know that your heart skips a beat knowing that you are making a difference.

I know that no grade can possibly prove what kind of nurse you will be. I know that no assignment will showcase your compassion. I know that a failed class doesn't mean you aren't meant to do this. I know that a 'C' on a test that you studied so. dang. hard. for does not mean that you are not intelligent. I know that no amount of bad days will ever take away the empathy inside of you that makes you an exceptional nurse.

I know that nursing school isn't fair. I know you wish it was easier. I know that some days you can't remember why it's worth it. I know you want to go out and have fun. I know that staying up until 1:00 A.M. doing paperwork, only to have to be up and at clinicals before the sun rises is not fair. I know that studying this much only to be failing the class is hard. I know you wish your friends and family understood. I know that this is difficult.

Nursing school isn't glamorous, with the white lab coat and stethoscope. Nursing school is crying, randomly and a lot. Nursing school is exhaustion. Nursing school is drinking so much coffee that you lose track. Nursing school is being so stressed that you can't eat. Nursing school is four cumulative finals jam-packed into one week that is enough to make you go insane.

But, nursing school is worth it. I know that when these assignments are turned in and finals are over, that you will find the motivation to keep going. I know that one good day of making a difference in a patient's life is worth a hundred bad days of nursing school.

Keep hanging in there, nursing majors. It'll all be worth it— this I know, for sure.

So, if you have a nursing major in your life, hug them and tell them that you're proud of them. Nursing school is tough, nursing school is scary, and nursing school is overwhelming; but a simple 'thank-you' from someone we love is all we need to keep going.

Sincerely,

A third-year nursing student who knows

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To The High School Graduating Seniors

I know you're ready, but be ready.

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Seniors,

I am not going to say anything about senioritis because I was ready to get out of there and I'm sure you are too; however, in your last months living at home you should take advantage of the luxuries you will not have in a college dorm. The part of college seen in movies is great, the rest of it is incredibly inconvenient. It is better to come to terms with this While you still have plenty of time to prepare and enjoy yourself.

Perhaps one of the most annoying examples is the shower. Enjoy your hot, barefoot showers now because soon enough you will have no water pressure and a drain clogged with other people's hair. Enjoy touching your feet to the floor in the shower and the bathroom because though it seems weird, it's a small thing taken away from you in college when you have to wear shoes everywhere.

Enjoy your last summer with your friends. After this summer, any free time you take is a sacrifice. For example, if you want to go home for the summer after your freshman year and be with your friends, you have to sacrifice an internship. If you sacrifice an internship, you risk falling behind on your resume, and so on. I'm not saying you can't do that, but it is not an easy choice anymore.

Get organized. If you're like me you probably got good grades in high school by relying on your own mind. You think I can remember what I have to do for tomorrow. In college, it is much more difficult to live by memory. There are classes that only meet once or twice a week and meeting and appointments in between that are impossible to mentally keep straight. If you do not yet have an organizational system that works for you, get one.

I do not mean to sound pessimistic about school. College is great and you will meet a lot of people and make a lot of memories that will stick with you for most of your life. I'm just saying be ready.

-A freshman drowning in work

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