What's Wrong With 'Benching?'

What's Wrong With 'Benching?'

Because ghosting wasn't bad enough.
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Lately, there's been a lot of talk about this new concept called "benching," which is basically when one person wants to be with someone but isn't "emotionally ready" for a relationship. So that person gets benched — put on the side until the other person is ready. For some reason, the commitment-phobic person expects the benched person to just wait around, and everything will be OK. That's what's wrong with benching.

See, the idea is that you kind of want to be with this person because you like them in some way, but you don't want to be tied down yet. Maybe you want to keep your options open just in case someone better strolls into your life. But if that doesn't happen, then you have the object of your benching to fall back on. It's like a safety net for the tightrope that is dating.

But let's say, hypothetically, you're "exclusive" with a person. That means you're only hooking up with them, which is a pretty big step in this one-night-drunk-hook-up culture we live in today. When someone feels they're ready to be exclusive, you can imagine they really like the other person. After all, you only want to be with them. So then why not date?

This is where it becomes a case of "benching." Being exclusive but not wanting to date because you're not emotionally ready to be in a relationship, or whatever nonsense you're spewing. But you still like the person, so you want to keep them around. You bench them because you'll be ready eventually, just not right now. And you expect them to just wait? Seriously?

From the benched's (benchee?) perspective, the whole situation is just emotionally unsettling. It makes them go crazy, wondering if they're at fault. Are they the reason you're not ready to commit? Beyond that's just insulting. You're not Zac Efron, sorry, you're not worth waiting around for. They feel like the second choice like you're just keeping yourself occupied waiting for someone better to come along. Even worse is that they actually care about you. Obviously, right? Since they're putting up with this in the first place. So why are they not good enough for you to be with?

To the people out there being benched, you're better than that. You deserve someone who genuinely wants to be with you and isn't afraid of it. No one should ever be treated like a second choice. To the people out there who happen to be benching others because you're afraid of the title "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," just stop. Don't waste someone else's time because you can't get your act together. You're being selfish. Grow a pair and either end it or commit already.

Cover Image Credit: shefinds.com

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A Senior's Last Week Of High School

The bittersweet end.
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Well, this is it. This is what we've worked so hard the last four years - who am I kidding - basically what seems like our whole lives for. This is the very last week we will set foot as a student in our high school's hallways. As most schools are getting ready to set their seniors free at last, it all begins to set in - the excitement, the anxiousness, and also the sentiment and nostalgia.

For seniors, the years since our first day as a freshman at the bottom of the high school totem pole have seemed endless, but as we look back on these last few weeks, we realize that this year in particular has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was just yesterday that we were sitting in our classrooms for the very first time, going to our 'last first' practice, and getting our first taste of the (very real) "senioritis". With all that's going on in our lives right now, from sports and clubs, finals, and the sought after graduation ceremony, it's hard to really sit down and think about how our lives are all about to become drastically different. For some it's moving out, and for some it's just the thought of not seeing your best friend on the way to fourth period English; either way, the feels are real. We are all in a tug of war with the emotions going on inside of us; everything is changing - we're ready, but we're not.

THE GOOD. Our lives are about to begin! There is a constant whirlwind of excitement. Senior awards, getting out of school early, parties, and of course Graduation. We are about to be thrust into a world of all new things and new people. Calling our own shots and having the freedom we have so desperately desired since the teenage years began is right around the corner. Maybe the best part is being able to use these new things surrounding you to grow and open your mind and even your heart to ideas you never could before. We get the chance to sink or swim, become our own person, and really begin to find ourselves.

Things we don't even know yet are in the works with new people we haven't even met yet. These friendships we find will be the ones to last us a lifetime. The adventures we experience will transform into the advice we tell our own children and will become the old tales we pass down to our grandkids when they come to visit on the weekends. We will probably hate the all night study sessions, the intensity of finals week, and the overpowering stress and panic of school in general, just like we did in high school... But it will all be worth it for the memories we make that will outlive the stress of that paper due in that class you absolutely hate. As we leave high school, remember what all the parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors are telling you - this are the best times of our lives!

THE BAD. The sentimental emotions are setting in. We're crying, siblings are tearing up, and parents are full-out bawling. On that first day, we never expected the school year to speed by the way it did. Suddenly everything is coming to an end. Our favorite teachers aren't going to be down the hall anymore, our best friends probably won't share a class with us, we won't be coming home to eat dinner with our families...

We all said we wanted to get out of this place, we couldn't wait, we were ready to be on our own; we all said we wouldn't be "so emotional" when the time came, but yet here we are, wishing we could play one more football game with our team or taking the time to make sure we remember the class we liked the most or the person that has made us laugh even when we were so stressed we could cry these past few years. Take the time to hug your parents these last few months. Memorize the facial expressions of your little sister or brother. Remember the sound of your dad coming home from work. These little things we take for granted every day will soon just be the things we tell our college roommate when they ask about where we're from. As much as we've wanted to get out of our house and our school, we never thought it would break our heart as much as it did. We are all beginning to realize that everything we have is about to be gone.

Growing up is scary, but it can also be fun. As we take the last few steps in the hallways of our school, take it all in. Remember, it's okay to be happy; it's okay to be totally excited. But also remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be sentimental. It's okay to be scared, too. It's okay to feel all these confusing emotions that we are feeling. The best thing about the bittersweet end to our high school years is that we are finally slowing down our busy lives enough to remember the happy memories.

Try not to get annoyed when your mom starts showing your baby pictures to everyone she sees, or when your dad starts getting aggravated when you talk about moving out and into your new dorm. They're coping with the same emotions we are. Walk through the halls remembering the classes you loved and the classes you hated. Think of the all great times that have happened in our high school years and the friends that have been made that will never be forgotten. We all say we hated school, but we really didn't. Everything is about to change; that's a happy thing, and a sad thing. We all just have to embrace it! We're ready, but we're not...

Cover Image Credit: Facebook

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Why I Write For Odyssey

I love Odyssey for so many reasons and here is why I stay

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I started writing for Odyssey at my old school back in the way beginning of Spring 2018. It's been a little over a year of love and support and I wouldn't change that for anything. I applied to write for Odyssey way back when because I've always had a passion for writing and getting my voice out there.

Odyssey, you've given me so many opportunities and blessings that I can't thank you enough for. A while back I wrote an article that hit over 5,000 views and because of that thoughtcatalog contacted me asking me to write for them. For those of you that don't know about thoughtcatalog, it's a website that has over 25 million visitors monthly. Therefore, my writing was getting even more recognition than I ever thought imaginable, and that's all thanks to Odyssey and the amazing editors and presidents I've had.

When I started writing for FGCU odyssey, I got so much support from my team outmost importantly my president. It was such a welcoming environment where for the first time I knew my voice was being heard and welcomed. Then, I switched over to USF odyssey and I got that same loving and welcoming environment.

Odyssey has given me a platform to not only reach others but to also vent. If we're being honest, a lot of my articles are basically about me talking about my problems or problems I see with certain things in todays world. So, thank you Odyssey for being my therapist most days.

One of the best feelings in the world is when people reach out to me privately about how one of my articles helped them get through something or let them know that they're not alone. I absolutely love that. It's such a beautiful gift to be able to help others through writing. Without odyssey I wouldn't have ever gotten to know that feeling.

The encouragement that I got from people who have read my work on Odyssey has inspired me to continue my writing throughout my life by writing books. No, I'm not writing books with the intent of them getting published but rather for my own personal enjoyment. I've always wanted to write books and stories but have never had the confidence in my writing like I do now. Thank you Odyssey for everything you've done for me and continue to do for me.

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