Her gentle hands delicately brushed my long, curly, crazy hair, smoothing out the frizz and effortlessly making the perfect ballet bun while I sat patiently and watched her focused eyes in the mirror, wondering how she knew just the right way to twist my mane into shape. After the hair, she quietly sat down in front of me and started making up my face. She pulled out all of the MaryKay she owned and rosied up my cheeks, shimmered my eyelids, and elongated my lashes with ease. My mother — all-knowing and beautiful and kind.
She knew what was too much for my small, delicate face, and what was just enough to make me feel like a shining star on that dance recital stage. As I’ve grown up, the makeup got darker, the hair got harder, and the eyelashes got… faker. And slowly I mastered the technique of stage makeup that my mom applied time and time again. But I’ll always remember sitting on the bathroom counter, bracing myself for the eyeliner and laughing about the failed eyelash application.
My mother — selfless, helpful, and always willing to make me feel beautiful, strong, and confident, even when she felt like the opposite. Now, I take it upon myself to make her feel as stunning and bold as I felt all those times she prepped me for the stage. It’s her time to show off and feel liberated and proud because of the beautiful life she’s created for herself and for me and my siblings. It’s time for me to be her loudest fan in the audience.
As a child, it’s hard to realize how much my mom went through when raising me. My dad has been in the Navy for almost 30 years now and in elementary and middle school he was gone quite a bit. But my mom kept things moving, taking me to dance class and my brother to baseball and caring for my infant sister… and everything else in between. She did it all with a sense of humor and always made us feel supported in all our endeavors.
It’s sometimes easy to forget how much my mom has done and continues to do for me, but it was quite the plot twist when I realized how much I do for her now that I’m away from home. She told me that when I left for school, the vibes at home… changed, and she felt a wave of uneasiness and loneliness come over her. It’s funny how as a kid, I would feel anxious and worried without my mom around, and now she feels like that without me around. I’ll always be her daughter first, but you know you’re entering into adulthood when you feel more like your mom is your best friend and less like your worst enemy… just kidding.
I am forever grateful for all the lessons my mom has taught me — in makeup, and in life. And if I become half the woman she is, then I will have made something of myself. I only hope we can continue learning from each other and that she starts seeing herself the way I’ve always seen her — funny, warm, giving, and willing to sacrifice at the drop of a hat. A selflessness that I attempt to adhere to every day. And I look forward to the day I get to give my daughter bathroom counter makeup lessons and instill in her the same sense of integrity, benevolence, and tenacity my own mother instilled in me.