I'm a bowl kind of girl. Once upon a time, it was strictly burritos, but times have changed. Whether you are a daily Chipotle go-er or a once-a-month-er, what you order at Chipotle says a lot about who you are as a person.
1. The bowl person.
This person is the person who has great intentions, usually does the right thing for the sake of everyone around them, but sometimes doesn't always think things through. The bowl takes away the tortilla so it's totally better for you. However, the bowl portions are nearly 1/4 to 1/2 more than what one would eat with the burrito. It's fine though because you really did mean well.
2. The bowl with tortilla person.
This person knows how to have a good time. Odds are, if you order the bowl and a tortilla, you're the life of the party. You don't really give a hoot because you're there to eat and you're there to eat well. You most likely have a pretty open mind and like exploring new, exciting things. You know how to maximize your options. Keep doing you.
3. The quesarito person.
The quesarito person is probably the most... annoying... of the bunch. You must really have a lot of time on your hands to spend the extra minute in line while they craft your "secret menu" gourmet tortilla cheese meal. I get it, it probably is amazing and I've never tried it. I'm sure if I did, it would be only semi-life-changing. However, there is a time and place to be inconvenient, and Chipotle is not one of them and quesarito amigo, I'm sure you've found other places to be just that.
4. The tacos person.
Do you know who are? Are you too cool for everyone? Quite honestly, I think we're all a little confused by the tacos person. If you get tacos, odds are you're a tiny bit mysterious, have a very unique personality, but probably a good person to spend time with. Realistically, Chipotle is a tex-mex palace breeding bowls and burritos. You can get tacos at so many other places, yet you decide to come with your friends to their favorite spot and order none other than three small tacos. We're all confused about you taco person, but for some reason we still really like you.
5. The quesadilla person.
So how do I put this nicely? If you go to Chipotle and you get a quesadilla, we probably aren't friends. Do you go to bed at 9 p.m.? Are you also an avid knitter? Quesadilla people, I ask you on behalf of all Chipotle lovers, please go outside your comfort zone. Boring Betty's never make history, or memories, or burritos for that matter. Live a little.
6. The double everything person.
#Gains. #Yoked. You probably are a neanderthal of some sort who takes mirror pics at the gym. I just say that because I envy you. I struggle to finish my second half of my bowl when I'm there every Sunday, and here you are, ordering double. The person who orders double everything is either a girl who really knows how to eat or a guy who takes bulking up seriously. Stay out of their way while they eat because they come to Chipotle to take care of serious business.
So next time you're taking that girl out on a Chipotle date, or surrounded by your five closest friends at 11am on a Sunday hungover Chipotle run, take a hard look at what they ordered and re-evaluate your friends. Just kidding. But seriously, life is too short to be friends with the person who orders a quesadilla from Chipotle.