Whether someone walks into my life knowing the extent of my health or not, I cannot imagine the bomb that I drop on them when they find out.

Learning the extent of someone's health can not be easy. I have my good days and I have my bad days. The activities I can do are sometimes limited and I can never fully comprehend what that does to a person. Many people have run away, but a lot have stayed and continue to support my family and I through the long battle we face.

But recently, I have realized that there are things that people should know about people with chronic illnesses. So, whether you are new or old friends with someone with a chronic illness, here are a few things you should know and understand:

We do not want you to feel bad for us.

What we want from you is for someone who believes our condition is real and that you're willing to support us. We don't want you to say that you are “sorry” or “you poor thing” or some other pity phrase because we want to be treated equally. So please, do not define us by our illnesses, and treat us like you would treat anybody else.

We value friendship more than most people.

We have seen many friendships dissolve time and time again because of our illnesses. Because of this, we have learned to value friendship more than you will ever know. Spoonies know how easy it is to be left in the dust, so we never take you for granted.

We are almost always on our phones.

If we are hanging out, we don't do this to be rude. We learn to find distractions and use them. Our phones happen to be one of them. However, this is also an advantage to you because we almost always respond immediately.

If you don't know about our illness, don't assume; ask us.

Most of us are more than happy to tell you about what's going on. Never assume you know it all when you most likely don't. Please don't tell us you know what we’re going through, because you more than likely do not.

We are not lazy.

A large portion of people with chronic illnesses struggle with chronic fatigue as well. Imagine your body fighting a battle against itself. Could you imagine how much energy that takes? We try to stay caught up with school, work, and social activities. But it gets extremely hard and sometimes we need time to relax and keep ourselves healthy.