It only takes three seconds of courage. It was early August of 2012 and I was on a family trip in Canada, soaking up the summer sun at a music festival.
I felt so grown up since I was now able to say that I was a teenager, but I had no idea that I was about to grow up a lot faster than I ever expected.
It was that day that I found out my best friend Will, a mere thirteen-year-old like me, had walked out in the middle of the street, just outside a local deli, and shot himself in the head. We were able to return to New York in time for me to make it to Will’s bedside and hold his hand one last time. At that point, I was told that his family was arranging to donate his organs to help others and that Will was not going to make it. It was a numbingly surreal feeling to know that someone that had been present my entire life was just gone. Initially, I ran through the “what if’s.”
What if I hadn’t been on vacation in Canada at the time? What if I had told somebody that he was upset with himself? I constantly replayed these questions in my head as I stood in the cemetery on what should have been a beautiful and fun summer day. Today, I ask myself: “What if that had never happened at all?”
Everyone reaches a time in their lives when they realize that time is precious. Whether it’s the last 30 seconds of a game or the last minute of a test, every second counts. That summer, I learned that life can change drastically in a matter of seconds.
Up until that point in my life, I had always been “the shy girl” who never said much and avoided eye contact. Having seen Will’s positive impact on so many people’s lives inspired me to change both my life and the lives of others for the better. I began with a simple goal of talking to more people; I hoped that, in my openness, I could touch the lives of more people. As I entered high school, my new attitude gave me the courage to build friendships that would last for the next four years and beyond.
Each year since Will’s death, my friends and I participate in an annual “Out of the Darkness” walk to raise money towards and awareness of suicide prevention. We formed a team called “Will Power” in Will’s honor and have raised $5,090 in the past four years.
Out of Will’s death, my new mantra arose: “It only takes three seconds of courage.” I realized that three seconds could change your life for the worst. But they could also change your life for the better. It was also this mindset that compelled me to try out for the high school crew team. That split-second decision has had a tremendous impact on my life. My crew team became my family, and I learned the importance of being a role model for the younger rowers. My best friends today are all members of the crew team. Victories may be decided by hundredths of a second, so every second is vital. Time is finite and fleeting, and I learned long ago to spend every second of it doing what I am passionate about with people who make me wish I could stop the clock.
When we lose a loved one, we can’t prevent the feelings of pain and heartbreak that follow. However, we can choose how we channel those emotions moving forward from the experience. I chose to honor Will by turning sorrow into success and I intend to continue on that path in life.