You know, I've thought about it for a while. About what it means to be a woman. And honestly, every time my mind wanders to the question, I surprise myself with the answer.
Before, I defined womanhood very negatively. My experience as a woman was defined not by empowerment or sisterhood, but by what I couldn't do and was afraid of doing. My womanhood would be defined by my lack of comfort wearing "small" clothing for fear of being labeled impure, my fear of walking alone at night, my fear of not being taken seriously. To be a woman, at least for me, meant all of these negative things that I could not control.
Before, I would worry about being perceived as feminine. I feared that such a perception would render my words and beliefs irrelevant or minimized, so I avoided dresses and bracelets, avoided showing any form of emotion.
I essentially defined womanhood by what was expected of me rather than my identity, which is inherently toxic. It's not like you can control, though you can try, how you are perceived by the world.
I've learned, through self-questioning and evaluation, that to be comfortable with my womanhood meant redefining my concept of femininity and womanhood. I learned to make the word itself to be something empowering, rather than minimizing.
To be a woman means to overcome, to initiate, to empower, and to grow. To be a woman means something beyond gender, beyond the word itself. To be a woman means to share in the bond of sisterhood, to learn and to listen and to support.
The negativity, the toxicity, the stereotyping, they are not necessary to the concept of womanhood. Womanhood is so much more than what's expected.
Though I cannot articulate the concept into a set of coherent words, know this: womanhood is more. More than expectations, hatred, misogyny, violence.
Womanhood is so, so much more.