We all have our “awkward years.” My awkward stage rose and fell during seventh grade.
As I was cleaning up my bedroom while I was packing for college, I found a box of old diaries, all covering the majority of my time as a seventh grader. When I finally found a free moment, I decided to leaf through a few of them.I chuckled as I read the scrawled chicken scratch (I wrote my diaries by nightlight when my parents were asleep) as I read through the carefully detailed recounts of my days. Sometimes, what seventh-grade me wrote would make me smile and recall some good moments, but most of the entries I made were filled with frustration, and anger, mostly at myself.
I was shocked. I remember not being in the best mental state during that year, but I didn’t fully realize how much I beat myself up, and how lonely I felt then. Comparing those entries to my thought process today, I was a completely different person five years ago. After reading through some of those entries, I wished for the umpteenth time that I could obtain a time machine and tell my past self a few things.
1. Some people just aren’t worth your worry.
Sure, maybe someone in your science class gave you a rude look when you told them to be a little quieter while the teacher was talking. Don’t automatically think that they hate your guts.
2. You may not have gotten to do the thing you previously wanted, but you’ve found something better in spite of it.
You may not have made it in the drama club, but you found a pretty great club in the school newspaper. You get to be a bigger part of a team, and you never know, you could end up wanting to study journalism in college because of what you did in middle school.
3. As much as you might not think so, you do have friends.
You just have to open your eyes. They are there, and they have always been there.
4. Don’t beat yourself up over mistakes.
This is still something I’m working on, but you’ll save a lot of time and stress if you allow yourself to make mistakes. Take it easy on yourself; you’re doing the best you can.
5. No matter what anyone else says, or what you say to yourself, you are beautiful.
Yes, especially with your glasses and braces. Your braces will come off soon, and you’ll have an even more beautiful smile for the rest of your life. As for your glasses, you will come to love the “nerdy chic” look that you have with it. Your thick, bushy hair you will one day come to accept and even celebrate. As for your acne, well, that still is a bit of a problem five years later, but even with that, you are still pretty.
After looking back on who I was five years ago, I’ve actually found more reasons to be proud of how far I’ve come. I’m happy to say that my mental state is much more at peace with myself and my appearance, but I’m glad I have these records to look back on the person I was a few years ago.
On that note, I think this is a good reminder to myself to take up journaling again so I can take another time travel journey in five years.
