Its almost been 2.5 years since my dad has passed away. Cancer sucks. I still remember the moment my mom called my sister from the hospital to tell us. It was weird at first, I was dead to the fact he was gone. I felt I had to stay positive and strong through it. I didn't want to believe it and I never gave myself time to properly grieve about the whole thing. By the second semester of my freshman year, my world came crashing down. I was miserable and wanted everything back the way it was before college started. And since then, holidays and birthdays have not been the same without him.

I was so close to my dad. As a kid, I would do everything with him. I would watch football with him, make our lunches to take to school and work and even watch the morning news together. I will never forget that. And even when I got into Old Dominion, he told me how proud he was of me. I looked up to him. He was a cool dad. He knew what to say and how to say it and always made sure I felt better when I was sick. That's the definition of a great dad.

It's hard because some people will tell me how they are sorry and understand what I have been going through. Even if they have lost a parent, it is not always the same feeling. I've always thought about the things I want others to know since losing a parent because sometimes people don't know how to help me or even how to react. Not every death is relatable and it means different things to everyone.

A simple hug will brighten my day.

Sometimes it isn't easy to watch someone you know grieve so hard. Even when you don't have anything to say, giving a hug can say more than any spoken words. I will always take that over advice or words if I don't even have the will to speak. I will get in those moods where I won't want to talk about him being sick or memories with him because it is too painful.

I will have my "off" days.

I will cry. I will have my anxiety moments. (Not as bad as they used to be.) I will want to talk about my dad. Just listen to me. Let me reach out to you and talk about him. It is not easy, but I get through each day knowing someone is there for me and will let me spew my feelings out. I will feel better with the fact that I was able to share stuff about my dad in confidence.

Don't just tell me you understand what I am going through.

You don't. Every death is different depending on how a person died. Not one situation is the same in comparison to another. Giving advice and support is what I need more. I'd rather have advice on how to handle something than someone telling me they know how I feel. I could feel completely different some other day compared to how I feel at that moment.

Tell me that you are proud of me.

Tell me that I am doing the best that I can and that my dad would be proud of me. See that I am doing what God has intended for me. Life isn't easy and will throw some curve balls at you from time to time. By seeing the good in me and reminding me that those are the things I am giving the world, will make me feel better about my purpose in life.