Let’s get one thing straight: it’s not the prohibition era anymore. Alcohol exists and people consume it (and they do so frequently). They’re always experimenting with which booze they like best and how it relates to them as person. Okay, maybe that’s a little too philosophical for a (legal) college student who is just trying to forget about that last test they bombed. Nevertheless, everyone has a type of alcohol that describes them the best even if they don’t realize it. To get a better understanding of how people view themselves, I asked a diverse group of my friends what type of alcohol they think they are. So, which alcoholic beverage are you?

Beer

Classic college, right? You know you’re beer if you rotate through the same five outfits every week, but really couldn’t care less because if you’re comfortable, what does it matter? You can usually go one of two ways on any given weekend:

1. Chill, low-key gathering with friends
2. Keg stand

You often like to keep things simple, though, and are super straightforward.

Wine

So, you like to get drunk? Oh, but you like to look classy while you’re doing it? Looks like you’re wine. You’re always down to dress up and put on a full face of makeup even if you know you’re going to sweat it off by the end of the night anyway (no shame there, my friend). Red, white, Rose, it doesn’t really matter as long as it’s getting the job done and making you look like you belong at a White House dinner party and not in the basement of a frat.

Fireball

It’s all in the name, really. You know you’re fireball when you get hype for the party at the pregame, and chances are, you're the one with the best pregame playlist on your Spotify. You have the spiciest personality out of all of your friends and are always down to party hop.

Tequila

If you’re Tequila, you’re a great time. It’s a simple as that. You always make bad decision that have the best outcomes and chances are, you have two partners in crime to act as your salt and lime. You’re always energetic and down to talk to anyone and everyone you meet.

Vodka

You’re usually bold, blunt, and shock people with your opinions. Despite that, you mix well at any party whether it be a low-key friend gathering or a rager.

Absinthe

This one is too good not to quote. My friend states that he’s absinthe because “people usually talk about how they tried it once and it’s not mainstream.” Truer words have never been spoken. If you’re absinthe, you probably hop around from friend group to friend group and definitely maintain a hipster vibe.

fourLOKO

Last, but certainly not least. If you’re a fourLOKO, people never know what to expect out of you. You have a crazy personality and are always down for anything, no matter how crazy it is. You can be overwhelming at first, but the more time people spend with you, the more they learn to love you and all of your crazy personality traits.

I hope that this article gave struggling, drunk, legal college students some insight into what type of alcohol they may or may not be. Please drink yourself responsibly!