It seems like now more than ever, we're facing a world of increasing uncertainty and despair. Things can look really dark for a while, and it's hard to know when we'll see the light again. With hundreds of terrorist attacks and natural disasters happening worldwide, more and more of us are going to be faced with the prospect that some level of tragedy is going to hit close to home for us. Sometimes, that reality can even take the form of a drunk driver killing a friend's family member right in front of you on a busy road.
My friend and I weren't expecting to have a very eventful Wednesday evening. We were planning on driving around town like we've done a million times before, maybe stopping at some shops or a restaurant along the way. We'd only been in the car together about five minutes when we came upon a scene I'll remember for the rest of my life. No more than two minutes must've passed between the time of the accident and the time we arrived. Cars were stopped and rushing to do road turns on what is normally a bustling four-lane highway. People on the side of the road were shaking and crying and holding onto each other desperately. Three police cars screamed by us as we sat in shock trying to figure out what was going on and what we needed to do. I wasn't keen on making a road turn like others in front of me, especially since more emergency vehicles were just arriving on the scene. I was slightly unnerved but assumed it had to be just a bad bump-up of the sort that tends to happen in intersections around us. When we finally pulled up in view of the apparent accident, we both saw what was very obviously a body being hastily covered up by policemen. I was stunned. By the time a policeman had begun to direct traffic and we were able to leave, my friend and I were shaken up but not inconsolably so. The news only reached us about two hours later that the person we'd witnessed being covered up was the father of one of our friends who we'd both known for a long time.
On the way to drop my friend back off at home, we were both at a loss at how to describe our feelings. How could this have happened? How could this have been someone that we knew? Everything tragic you hear about on the news makes you feel sad, but it never truly impacts you until it's someone you've met and talked to and whose wife and kids you know. An innocent person with a loving family lost to an impaired driver. There are no words to describe how terrible, awful, and gut-wrenching that situation is. And if you know someone who's experienced a major, sudden loss like this, you know how difficult it can be to think of what to do or say. At times, it seems like there's nothing that you can do or say because none of it will make things better.
But I'm a firm believer in the idea that things like this are not completely without purpose, and that even though they may rip us apart inside, they bring us closer together as people, as fellow human beings with heartbeats and souls. Even the simple act of just letting someone know that you're saying a prayer for them or that you're there if they wish to talk can be enough to bring them a small bit of comfort in the midst of chaotic grief. I have faith that the family of this man, as well as the families of all those lost in recent senseless tragedies (even those not televised), will bond together stronger than ever before during the aftermath of severe loss. There may be a gaping hole in their lives now, but they still have each other. We all still have each other.
Times like these should make you feel especially compelled to hug your loved ones a little tighter and say "I love you" a little more often. It's becoming far too obvious that you literally have no idea when will be the last time.
So, in want of anything more elaborate to tell you, here's exactly what you say when you don't know what to say: "I love you." To your family members and friends, because you need to tell them that all you can. To the grieving person/people you know, because love is the one human action that transcends all relationships and situations. If you'd prefer, you could also just tell them, "I'm here." Sometimes, just knowing that someone has offered their companionship is all it takes to realize that the sun is still shining, life is still going moving forward, and the world isn't all lost yet.
