I know you won’t ever see this, because we deleted each other off of everything, but in the slightest chance you do, here is everything I wish I could say to you.
I think about you everyday. I’ll see a Jeep Wrangler and instantly think of you, or I’ll drive by a target and remember all the hours we spent in that store together. It’s not always good memories, and it makes me regret how we left things. The bad ending ruined the whole story.
I know it wasn’t all your fault. It took me a lot longer than I’d like to admit for me to realize that it was also partly my fault, but pointing fingers isn’t going to solve anything. I think, in the end, blaming each other is why it ended so badly.
I miss you, and I know I told everyone I didn't want you in my life anymore, including you, but I don't think I actually realized you were gone, until I came home for the summer and missed you coming over. I sometimes wonder what would happen if we ran into each other. Would we ignore each other or say hi? Maybe in twenty years we'll see each other and forget why we stopped talking in the first place.
Life is different without you, but not in a bad way. In the seven months we haven't spoken, a lot has changed. I've changed as a person and became more independent, and I'm sure you have as well. Losing someone that you did everything with really sucks when all of sudden you have to do things alone. Losing my partner in crime made me realize that sometimes life has to be a solo gig.
I'm ok. Even though I didn't show it, losing you did hurt. But time and finding a new friend group of amazing girls made it hurt a lot less. I always expected you to be in my life forever, but everything that happens in life is either a lesson or a blessing. Losing you helped me realize I need to hold onto and appreciate the people that I have in my life today.