What do I have to lose?

Right now, with whatever it is I happen to be doing, what do I have to lose?

It's the question of the century, ladies and gentlemen. It's the moment you anxiously await as you sift through activities, events, classes, outfits, etc., waiting for the "aha" moment in which your brain will land on exactly what every calculated step of your day, of your life, will cost you. In everything you have, everything you know, what do you have to lose, right here, right now?

That was and is the question that plagues me. I am a chaotic individual who loves control, a paradox that never quite has everything together. Each moment is spent in nervous planning, internal listing, pro and con lists, you name it. I am petrified of failure and am desperate for success. I can be a lot of things and don't really like to think about any of them.

Sometimes all I want is to know whether or not something I choose to do will go my way. Sometimes I'm scared of trying until I have that answer. Sometimes those answers don't come. Sometimes comes around quite often. And that infernal question sits on the forefront of my brain like a neon sign at night time, taunting me with everything I'll never know until I get there. What do I have to lose?

But maybe it's not that question after all. Maybe it's a different one. The question that rules our days, maybe it's something so similar, the brain can't tell the difference and the mind falls for it every single time. It's not "What do I have to lose?" It's "What will I lose?"

If faced with a situation fraught with the unknown, our brains have a bad habit of leaping towards the negatives. We don't hope for a good turnout, we fight with the thoughts of everything falling apart. We imagine the worst possible scenarios and play them out in our heads as we make each move of our day. We look away from the positives, look away from the successes, look away from what excites us about our actions. Failure tends to be on the other end of our tunnel vision, and only when the episode is over are we allowed a glimpse at the bigger picture. We lose opportunities, relationships, time all in one broad stroke.

So what if we went back to "What do I have to lose?"

Instead of devoting our thoughts to the negatives, what if we returned to what that question truly asks? When faced with an opportunity, a chance to chase a new goal, meet a new person, reach out for something truly amazing, asking what we have to lose reminds us that if the answer is simply trivial social standings and fears, then the answer is nothing. The worst a person can say to our asking something of them is no, offering up opportunities to dig deeper for what we love.

The worst a job or an event can say to our asking to participate is no, giving us ample time to find something else that catches our eye and keeping the adventure going. The more we ask ourselves what we have to lose from just trying for the things we care about, the more we realize where our priorities lie and the more used to the possibility of failure we become. The more used to it we become, the more we can ignore the fear altogether, settling into the balancing act of a healthy mix of successes and failure, with plenty to learn from each.

Asking what you have to lose will realign you with your purpose. If at any point the price is too steep, you think, you reevaluate, you reconfigure. But as is so often the case with the little decisions we make in our daily lives, the price is insignificant at most. We psych ourselves into believing losing is the only option. It's not. There is a world of opportunity out there for the people who set aside their fears and just start running.

What do you have to lose? Right here, right now, what do you have to lose? Will you really lose anything? Remember why you're here, why you're fighting, and what you want to accomplish. Forget the success, forget the failure. Motivate yourself to act. That's the best place to start.