To say the least, this summer has been very rough for me.

Over the course of three and a half months, life had thrown me constant stresses and a myriad of problems one after another. From the fender bender that left me scared of driving for days to boy drama that wouldn't let up for 11 entire weeks.

I felt like I hit rock bottom. I was absolutely devastated, I cried almost every single day and felt like nothing could make me happy. Every corner I turned there was more bad news, and I felt more trapped than ever with no way out. I just wanted college to be over and to be moved on and living on my own.

I just wanted to be happy.

The one thing that kept my head up throughout this summer was the thought of studying abroad in Florence, Italy. Throughout all the stress of the summer, Italy was the one thing that kept my head up and my tears held back. It was everything to me. It was a chance for me to reclaim my happiness, to focus on school, to focus on my emotions and my needs, to make new friends… to reclaim me.

Upon having dinner with a friend, I told her of my struggles, and that I felt like I needed to find myself again and find my happiness and be in a place where I’m happy all the time, not just when I’m with others.

She then referred me to the memoir "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. She explained that after a divorce, Gilbert went on a trip of reclamation, with Italy being one of the major stops. (This was her “eat” portion of the trip. She continued to India for spirituality, a.k.a. “pray,” and finally to Indonesia for “love”). My friend told me that my study abroad can serve the kind of purpose that Gilbert’s adventures served her.

Now, more than ever, I see why Italy calls me. Not just to learn more about the history of the Italian Renaissance or to see Michelangelo’s "David" in-person. It is about something bigger than I ever could have imagined when I first applied.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it... I'm very scared to meet new people and live in a culture different than my own for the next four months. I don't know anyone, and I have nothing planned. My life has always been planned and to not know what is going to happen scares me, but I know that it will be good for me.

I don't want to involve myself with any guys or anything that is not good for me. I want to focus on my well-being and improving myself as a person. I love school, and I love art history, and I love having friends that I can depend on. I hope that Italy can help me appreciate these things once more and help me become a better person upon my return.

If you are interested in seeing where my journey takes me, you can follow my Instagram blog: _treksinthecity_