I had a conversation recently with a friend of mine, Brandon. I don't see Brandon often, so we have plenty of catching up to do when the time comes. We had a long conversation that ultimately led to a very loaded question: what are you most scared of for college? I didn't give a very forward answer at the time, so I sure hope he is reading this.

I am scared out of my mind of myself. I am scared of how I'm going to be perceived.

There is a very interesting thing about being accepted into a new environment, and it is this: you can be anything. No one knows you, so there doesn't have to be a "you". You can talk smoother, walk slower, put on a confident face; be the cooler version of yourself. You can dress nicer, walk with a purpose and talk about your parents yacht trip to Mexico; the wealthy version. Heck, you could talk about how your neighbors won't stop bugging you and how you wanna build a fence to keep them out, despite the fact they have a fence building company; the Trump version.

I am afraid that I will do something to prevent myself from completing the only task I have planned for the next four years: finding myself. The want that I possess to be those things is what makes me who I am, not actually being those things. Although that statement is very convoluted and hard to understand, the sum of it is this: I need to be myself, and my biggest fear is that I will stop myself from being myself.

Dammit, I am so confusing.