What Your Shoes Say About You

What Your Shoes Say About You

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There are many defining characteristics of a person--their personality, their height, where they plan to die one day. But one small feature about yourself says more about you than you might expect, and that is your shoes. To find out just what they had to say, I sat down with some local shoes and asked them what they really thought of their owners.

New Balance Sneakers.

Jerry's feet are soft. But not in a good way. They're soft in a way that reminds me of a rotten peach. I really wish he would forget about me, like I've forgotten about him."

Birkenstocks.

“Every owner I've had smells like what I expect Ezra Koenig to smell like. It's a very calculated and pleasant weird."

Rainbow Flip Flops.

“Please help. I was never designed to be walked on. Every time the human steps, I let out a loud *clap* to let the world know of my imprisonment. As of yet no one has come to rescue."

Running Shoes With The Toes.

“Bill was a good runner in high school, or so I've heard. Broke 4:30 in the mile apparently. Obviously he's gotten weird about it now though. I should not exist."

High Heels.

“I belong to the black-haired, cheer captain Taylor Swift. I don't really like how I'm portrayed in the song at all really. And if I'm being completely frank, I never much liked the sneakers in the bleachers."

Sneakers in the bleachers.

"Taylor's nice. A little...it's hard to describe. Voyeuristic? Is that the word? Like I agree he's cute and all, but there's a limit to how deeply you can stare at a man in his bedroom while he talks on the phone to his girlfriend."

Vans.

*muffled screaming*

Heely's.

“You wanna see my dinosaur toy? Dinosaurs are awesome. You wanna know which is my favorite dinosaur? You wanna? Huh? I bet you can't guess. I bet you five billion dollars you can't guess. It's a Triceratops. That one's my favorite."

Crocs.

“Julia has had a rough year. Lost her job and such. It's too bad, cause you know, she's a nice girl. It's ironic, I want for her to get back on her feet, and her and I both know that the first step to that is getting her feet out of me."

Paper towel with a string tied to the top.

“It's cruel enough that I exist, but did you have to move to Phoenix too, John? Your feet sweat like your aunt when she talks to telemarketers."

Ice Skates.

“I was born with a mutation that led to a giant blade sticking out of my torso. I cannot balance naturally or stay upright on my own. My owner, Stephanie, tortures me by rubbing me against cold, cold ice. All I wish to ask is, why? Why, humans?"

Sperry's.

“If I had five cents for every time Nathan has spilled beer on me, I'd be almost as rich as he is."

Uggs.

“Hailey's feet cold. She put in me. Me hugg. Make warm. Ugg."

Shower shoes.

“Ya'll can never truly know what I been through...I smile now, sure. Present myself as a nice, well-groomed sorta guy. But you don't truly know the hell I been through. You don't know what I seen."

Adidas Yeezy Boots.

“JESUS WORE ME AS HE WAS CRUCIFIED ON THE CROSS AND AFTER HE WAS RESURRECTED GOD SAID 'DAMN SON NICE KICKS I SEE YOU'VE ENJOYED EARTH.'"

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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5 Cheap Summer Concerts That Are Worth The Trip To Camden, NJ

Nothing like a good outdoor concert to cure any "summertime sadness!"
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Well, y'all, it's finally here. Summer. And that means that one of my favorite past-times is back in season -- outdoor concerts. Now, I've only been to a handful, mostly with my family, but outdoor concerts have the potential to be the most fun that you'll have the whole summer! As a West Chester resident, there aren't too many venues that hold outdoor concerts near us, but the BB&T Pavilion in Camden, New Jersey is one of the best, especially with their impressively cheap selection of lawn seats (my personal favorite seating for any concert). And this summer, BB&T has some impressive names performing. With over 35 performances set for before August's end, I took the liberty of compiling the top five performing in Camden that you will not want to miss this summer, especially not at these prices!

1. The Adventures of Kesha and Macklemore.


Who: Kesha, Macklemore, Wes Period

When: Wednesday, July 25, 7 pm

Price: Starting at $30.50/ticket

2. Wiz Khalifa and Rae Sremmurd: Dazed and Blazed Tour.

Who: Wiz Khalifa, Rae Sremmurd, Lil Skies, O.t. Genasis

When: Friday, August 8, 6 pm

Price: Starting at $29.50/ticket

3. Logic Presents: Bobby Tarantino vs. Everybody Tour with NF and Kyle.

Who: Logic, NF, Kyle

When: Wednesday, June 13, 7 pm

Price: Starting at $21-22/ticket

4. 2018 Honda Civic Tour presents Charlie Puth Voicenotes.

Who: Charlie Puth, Hailee Steinfeld

When: Tuesday, July 24, 7:30 pm

Price: Starting at $25/ticket

5. Weezer / Pixies.

Who: Weezer, Pixies, Sleigh Bells

When: Saturday, July 21, 7:30 pm

Price: Starting at $25/ticket


If anyone needs me, you know where I'll be all summer!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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