Mental illness has long been thought of as a personal matter, not to be discussed publicly because it makes people uncomfortable.

For this reason, many people, including myself, feel shameful about their mental illness and are hesitant to talk about it, even when they need to, because they feel embarrassed or fear the possibility of judgment. I am writing this article and, very publicly, sharing my experiences living with depression in order to shed some light on what it really means to be depressed.

Hopefully, by doing so, I can help educate people so the subject doesn’t make them uncomfortable to talk about and, so that, they can generally better understand the disorder. I want to squash the stigmas surrounding mental illness and give people a little encouragement to live confidently and openly with their mental illness.

The phrase, “I’m depressed,” is frequently used in everyday conversations, but most people use it to refer to typical feelings of sadness or disappointment, an inaccurate and discrediting description of what being depressed actually means.

In reality, feelings of depression are not temporary, but last all-day, most days. Depressive episodes are described as persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness and loss of interest and motivation.

Symptoms of depression, such as insomnia, irritability, unexplained physical pain (back pain, headaches, etc.) and constant exhaustion, are often severe enough to impair day-to-day functioning, sometimes to the extent an individual may feel their life is not worth living.

Also known as major depressive disorder, depression can affect the way a person may think, feel and behave and is caused by biological dysfunctions in hormones and/or brain chemistry. It often requires long-term, even lifelong, treatment with a combination of psychotherapy and medication. People feel generally miserable and unhappy for reasons they can’t explain.

I have battled with depression since I was fifteen and have had to develop cognitive therapeutic skills as well as take a variety of medications in order to manage it.

For me, my depressive episodes are overtly debilitating and, if left untreated, bring about such severe feelings of a loss in motivation and interest in my daily activities that I find it hard to leave my bed for the entire day, sometimes for multiple days at a time.

It is not because I’m tired but more so that I can’t find the motivation to face another day in my painful feelings of loneliness and despair.

If I do, somehow, manage to get myself out of bed, I am sluggish and absolutely exhausted all day. All I want to do is crawl back in my bed, close the blinds and isolate myself from everyone and everything.

Perhaps the worst thing I deal with in a depressive episode is my lack of enjoyment in every aspect of life that once brought me joy. I don’t want to spend time with friends, I don’t want to see my family, I don’t even want to take care of myself, nutritionally, hygienically, organizationally, etc. I recede into myself and my thoughts where I marinate in the darkness of the emotions I feel.

Depression is a difficult thing to live with, at times seemingly impossible. It is like being constantly followed by your own person storm cloud, pouring rain in the form of dark thoughts over you ceaselessly.

However, with the right medication and the ability to talk about the thought you’re having, whether, with a therapist or just an understanding friend, it is possible to find happiness again.

Being able to openly share thoughts is absolutely essential in the healing process. This is why we all need to better our understanding and acceptance of depression so that those suffering who are close to us feel that they can talk to us about what they’re going through.

Which will aid them tremendously in healing?

As difficult as it is for me to share this sensitive topic so publicly, I hope that I will help bring some awareness to what it means to be depressed and that the public will better understand the major depressive disorder.

I hope that the stigma which surrounds depression will be diminished so that those who are suffering will not feel so ashamed to share their experiences.

Mental illness is something that is growing in prevalence as people become more willing to accept and more willing to seek help.

As this prevalence continues to grow we must also grow in our awareness and understanding.

With this growth, we will grow in our humanity in our willingness to accept those suffering from mental illnesses.