Since we all know Donald Trump is a lock to win the 2016 presidential election, the only real question left to answer is who will be in his administration to advise him on all the hot-button policy challenges that face the president. According to my source inside the Trump campaign, here's who will be serving in The Donald's cabinet.
Vice President: Clay Aiken
He’s already a politician, so he knows the ropes and how to win back an audience after he’s already lost their favor (did you see his comeback on "American Idol"?). VP Aiken is the perfect wingman, at least if you’re looking for potential voters (not girls in a bar).
Secretary of State: Dennis Rodman
If this guy can become best friends with the dictator of North Korea, he obviously has the skills to deal with any foreign dispute.
Secretary of the Treasury: NeNe Leakes
She has so much money she doesn’t know how to spend it. Why else would she waste her time poorly playing a gym teacher on "Glee"?. If she isn’t bankrupt yet, she must be able to manage money pretty well.
Secretary of Defense: Jesse James
I don't think anyone will be picking a fight with the U.S. any time soon with this guy in charge of our armed forces.
Attorney General: Meat Loaf
He obviously has a lot of opinions on almost everything. Be it the “storm clouds” rolling all over the world that Romney was supposedly the perfect president to fix (too bad the ol’ Loaf didn’t finish his voter registration in time to cast his ballot), or the injustice of a prayer being outlawed from schools in Rhode Island, Meaty over here is a bastion for those without a voice.
Secretary of the Interior: Gilbert Gottfried
He once did the voice of Lago the parrot from "Aladdin" and that’s as close to nature as any Secretary of the Interior could get.
Secretary of Agriculture: Trace Adkins
Have you heard his lyrics? He’s all about that corn and country cookin’ on Sunday evenings. He’s got food distribution down to a science.
Secretary of Commerce: Ian Ziering
On season seven of the "Celebrity Apprentice," Ziering raised more money in one challenge than any other contestant, so he’s pretty much pro-status at money circulation.
Secretary of Labor: Khloé Kardashian
She’s never worked a day in her life, yet somehow has become successful. Maybe she can teach America a thing or two.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Gary Busey
Because when you think of the epitome of health and well-being of body and mind, you think of Gary Busey.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Kate Gosselin
She already has experience in creating her own little community with eight kids of her own. She obviously would make sure everyone in the urban areas is fed and falls asleep before 8 p.m. (Maybe there would even be a decrease in crime).
Secretary of Transportation: Sig Hansen
He’s conquered the seas on "Deadliest Catch", now he just has to have some practice on the roads. Being on A&E I’m sure he could just phone a friend on "Ice Road Truckers" and get a few pointers.
Secretary of Energy: Lil' Jon
With his iconic hip hop demeanor, and songs like "Outa Your Mind" I don't think keeping energy levels high will be a problem.
Secretary of Education: Kevin Jonas
If you put a Jonas brother in charge of my education, I would never complain about standardized testing.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Geraldo Rivera
He’s been in the fields of Afghanistan. He’s practically a veteran himself in his own mind.
Secretary of Homeland Security: Piers Morgan
I know not all terrorists are from outside of the states, but with ISIS on the prowl, it would be good to have an outsider’s perspective on why everyone hates a back-to-back World War champ.
