Things You Should and Should Not Say to Someone Who is Dealing With a Mental Illness
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Things You Should and Should Not Say to Someone Who is Dealing With a Mental Illness

Knowing what not to someone in these situations can make a huge difference.

Kaitlyn McQueen
Oct 23, 2019
Michigan State University
16
Things You Should and Should Not Say to Someone Who is Dealing With a Mental Illness
live.staticflickr.com

We all either know someone who's dealing with a mental illness, or maybe you deal with mental illnesses yourself. You've probably either been told how to deal with your illness, or have told someone else how to deal with theirs (or maybe both). However, while there are things that can be helpful and supportive to people, there are also other things that are said that are not the best to say to someone dealing with an illness, because they are either unhelpful, hurtful, and sometimes just plain insulting. Below I'll list some things that you should NOT say to someone who's dealing with a mental illness.

You need to calm down/chill out!

Just telling someone to basically calm down is defiantly not going to calm them down at all. In fact, it can sometimes make someone who has Anxiety/PTSD/any other panic disorder feel way worse and may worsen their panic. This person most likely wants to be able to calm down, but their having trouble doing so, and the last thing they need is someone basically telling them to "snap out of it and chill out".

You need a drink/cigarette/weed/etc.

While something like a small glass of alcohol or a quick smoke may potentially help someone in the short run, in the long run it can turn into something potentially dangerous. Unfortunately, telling someone that they should drink/smoke/do drugs to solve their problems/feelings is a good recipe for them to become addicted in the future.

I know what you're going through

This is something that seems super innocent, and usually when it's said there is absolutely no harm meant by it. However, there's a good chance that you may not know exactly what someone is going through at the moment. Sometimes, telling someone this can seem trivializing to the person who is going through this. So unless you know for sure that you have gone through the exact same thing, avoid saying this.

There are people out there who have it worse than you, so suck it up

This just feels like a slap in the face to someone who is going through a mental illness. We all know that there are others who have it worse, but that does not mean that our feelings and emotions are not important too. There is literally no need to make peoples problems a competition against each other. Telling this to someone is only going to make them feel worse about everything, because they'll just feel bad about what they're going through and why it isn't fixed. It's also just rude in general and dismissive.

Why don't you just cheer up/get out of bed/find a hobby

Again, if someone wanted to be happy or to get up and do things like they used to, then they would. However, with some illnesses, it just is not easy for someone to just suddenly feel joy. Telling someone to just cheer up and look on the bright side is completely dismissive of their feelings

Everyone feels this way at some point

While it can seem like it, things like general sadness or stress are not the same things as depression, anxiety, or other illnesses. Everyone can feel stressed from time to time, but not everyone has constant panic attacks or feels so down that they can't even leave their bed.

Anything that implies any sort of blame

For example, saying something like "You'd feel so much better if..." or "You're the one who's making yourself feel this way" or "It's all in your head" can just make this person feel as though everything is their fault, even though its not. It can also just cause someone to feel like they aren't doing enough about their illness, even if they really are.

But you don't look sad/anxious/etc.

Not all mental illnesses are visible, and some people are just really good at covering up how they are feeling. Just because someone looks fine does not mean that they are, and saying this can be seen as dismissive.



From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

Siena College
10931
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
small towns
Relationships

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you.

University of New Haven
286540
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College
86543
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
waitlisted
Swoon

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

National Writers Society
149255
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
single life
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Marist College
52468
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments