March 18, 2058

London, UK

A letter to my readers and believers all over:

A crowded street leading to a mosque. A mosque with blue domes and grey minarets overlooking the Bosphorous Strait but the Sea of Marmara and the Blue Sea glistening in its blue-silver radiance in the background adds a beautiful blue aura around the mosque. Seagulls flying in the air, the green of the interspersed trees and the obscure colors of the people walking on the street made the postcard come alive.

I am generally not used to getting such animated postcards, let alone any postcards, especially in these times of the e-card (not like I got many of those either). With my name and address written in beautiful calligraphy, the message was precise and sharp just like the handwriting in which my name was written.

Save the date. April 23, 2011. Saturday. 2:30 pm.

Celebrate with us as we celebrate our meeting at precisely this date and time three years ago at the Four Seasons Hotel, Istanbul, Turkey.

Love, Nina and Andrew.

My cousin was getting married. The boy I thought would never “settle” because life was full of enthralling adventures, as a videographer, was finally getting married. I had always thought that he would get married to a boy, but I guess not. What about his many boyfriends I had met over the years? Maybe he was bisexual. Oh well! A trip to Istanbul and I was excited. I was also a little mad that he hadn’t told me about Istanbul or Nina or the wedding, but the wedding and the free stay at THE Four Seasons definitely helped in getting over my short-lived indignation.

A D-shaped building floating on a floating land of its own. With palm trees sprinkled on its circumference, the sun shining in its bright-yellow glory with a tall, pointy building eclipsing it, the picture looked more like an experimental alcoholic drink than one of the iconic buildings of Dubai on a vintage post card.

Typed on the back of this postcard was again my name and address with a message that was Deja vu.

Save the date. December 17, 2017, Sunday at 11am.

Come celebrate with us our new beginnings, our lives never ending like the vast expanse of the Jumeriah beach at the Burj al Arab, Dubai, UAE.

Love, Michael and Andrew.

So, Andrew finally had the courage to marry Michael. More like was waiting for his aged parents’ disapproval, tears and agony over the realization of their son being gay to die with them. Society and God would look down upon them and disown them, that would have killed them sooner than their old age. Besides his marriage with Nina was just a green-card wedding that no one needed to know about.

They always evoked in me this sense of stillness. A cold, stationery feeling of not having moved in the last ten years. Of my life looking and feeling exactly the same as it did on April 23, 2011; December 17, 2017 or even today. I had a routine. Work, social life, personal time; friends, family, colleagues; train, bus, airplane; Philippines, Sri Lanka, Lagos. It’s not like I didn’t travel, didn’t get my share of fancy food, drinks and people in exotic locations and attire. Yet, something was missing. I did not yearn for anyone. I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be by myself, uninhibited and free. I even married my best friend Xi in a moment of weakness. But she left to go be with her family in China. That was five years ago. I haven’t seen her since. I took to wood shop and learnt how to build things in the solitude of my garage. I built a coffee table, bookshelves and even my bed. It kept my mind and hands busy. I loved it but after building all the things in my house the stillness returned. What next?

So, I’m open to suggestions. Send them to me in the form of a postcard, a scintillating one, preferably, so that my mind can rest, even if it’s for a second. It doesn’t have to be feasible, just not boring. I await in earnest for my beautiful mental clog.

From the desk of Amnesty International,

London, UK.