"Sadly, we settle for what we are used to, even if what we are used to is pain" – r.h. Sin

I remember being a nine-year-old little girl crying on her bedroom floor, praying to God my parents would stay together. I could hear the arguing in all late hours of the night, on disagreements I would never come close to understanding at that age.

I would grab my five-year-old sister from her bed and pull her into mine because that would bring comfort to the love I felt like I was losing.

Is this what marriage looks like? Is love being yelled at and constant arguing? Is love taking the children and going to your grandparent's house until your mom can find another home to raise you in?

I was scared, to say the least. I wanted my parents to be together, but now I know, they never stopped loving one another. They stopped believing in one another. I would see my mom and dad trying to make it work for a short amount of time before the fuse would blow again, and back to grams' house, we went.

Change is a constant factor in our lives. We are constantly moving and growing. I was taught at a young age that no matter where I lived and no matter how far I went, I would always be loved. I would have people that cared for me, and that even though it is hard, change is a reality and it is ok.

Perfection is not real, it is not in our human nature to ever be perfect. So, if you cannot do it, do not expect it from anyone else. We are all human and we all make mistakes. When you find the person that feels like home, you have to remember that they are worth fighting for. They are your person, your right hand, your go to. They are worth never giving up on and believing in because you are too. God never gives up on you, and when you mess up, He is waiting with open arms and forgiveness. Your person needs that from you too.

I understood that a lot of arguing came from small stuff, for example, my dad wishing my mom a happy 23^rdbirthday on Facebook and my mom said: "If you want a 23-year-old, go get you one". A BIG LOL, in my opinion, but it turned into a real argument that was not even worth it. If it isn't going to make a huge impact on your life or matter in 5-10 years, don't sweat it, it'll pass and you can keep your joy.

I learned to be strong at a young age. I had to smile and go to school and keep my grades up. I had to hug my sister and shut the bedroom door when I heard my parents arguing. I would pray through my tears that I held inside all day. Luckily, I had a wonderful best friend, shout out to my girl Emily and her mom, who helped me through it. She would let me stay the night with her or take me out to eat when I was feeling overwhelmed. So, you are stronger than you think and you are always going to grow through the hard stuff.

Going through my parents' divorce allowed me to open my mind. I had to adapt to living in two separate homes and a stepfamily. I had to learn to accept new relationships and opening up my heart to love other children like my siblings. I was used to the pain of the divorce for a long time and I settled for that as love for a long time. However, the older I got the more I understood all the things I wrote about more. You do not have to settle for the pain you think love is.